I’ve Basically Already Won This TFM Exclusive DraftKings Contest
9 years ago

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Each time I set my DraftKings lineup, I feel like Ben Affleck in the Dazed and Confused scene where he’s running the table inside the Emporium and hits his opponents with “Y’all are an embarrassment to the sport of pool… and should be proud that I let you play… at my table.” Ben knows he owns that table, and so do his opponents.

I’m Ben, you’re the guys who stand no chance against Ben, and “my table” is the TFM Exclusive Week 17 Contest offered by DraftKings.

Just how exclusive, exactly? The contest is exclusive af. There is room for only 100 entrants. Well, only 99 now since I’ve already submitted my lineup. The winning lineup — mine — is below. I dare you to top it. You can’t.

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I even left 100 “fuck you” dollars on the table. Just because.

You’ll have a chance to take me and many other shit-talking TFM readers down. Cash money is on the line, but comment section bragging rights might be just as valuable if we’re being honest here. You’re going to want to join quickly, as we expect the 100 spots to get snatched up soon.

If you already have a DraftKings account, it’s only $3 to enter, and it’s FREE for new users. Get a piece of the prize pool. Winner takes home $100.

The contest locks on Sunday at 1 p.m. EST, but SIGN UP NOW BEFORE YOU LOSE YOUR SPOT, and come get your dick kicked in by me.

    1. Hugh Jaynuss

      ACC is still predominantly southern football teams, so still better than the northern conferences

      9 years ago at 12:28 pm
      1. Gamefrock69

        I know, i’m just fucking with Tuco because I’m bitter my team sucks. Ay Tuco how bout those Seminoles???? ACC hates bowl games lolllz

        9 years ago at 12:30 pm
      3. Hugh Jaynuss

        Fuck you. I don’t care how many laps I get because these GIDs don’t know how football rivalries are, make sure you tune in to see Clemson wreck bama’s shit

        9 years ago at 10:37 am
  3. SNUBonny

    Dorn’s New Year’s Resolution is to stop driving around his neighborhood looking for lemonade stands.

    9 years ago at 12:08 pm
      1. FuckTuco69

        “Have some self-awareness” is what everyone says to ACC fans as you celebrate winning games in that Retarded Youth division yall play in

        9 years ago at 6:41 pm
      2. FuckTuco69

        Shit a downy with schizophrenia could go to the NCAA championship as a one man show if all he had to do was go undefeated in the ACC

        9 years ago at 6:43 pm
      4. Tuco_1855

        Poor Gamefrock. Just close your eyes and bring yourself back to December 4th, 2010. Your Gamecocks just came off a big 29-7 win over Clemson the week prior, you knocked off #1 Alabama earlier in the season, and you’re about to kick off against Auburn to play for the SEC title and your first ever trophy. Now every time you feel this pit in your stomach when you think about the current state of Clemson football and the tragic fall of your coots and you really wanna make some pathetic comments to try to mock the entire situation, just don’t. Instead, close your eyes and remember the good times. December 4th, 2010 at about 5 pm, the pinnacle of South Carolina football.

        9 years ago at 9:52 pm