Drunk Jay Cutler is Once Again Impressively TFTC

From Kissing Suzy Kolber:

It’s been a while since we’ve run an anonymous account about a run-in with an NFL player, but this is too good to pass up.

Friend is in a bar in Chicago during the off-season. He goes to the bathroom and sees Jay Cutler, hat on backwards, taking a piss at the urinal. So the guy starts going to the bathroom and says, “Hey, I’m a huge fan, also went to Vanderbilt… ”

Jay throws his head back, still pissing, eyes half-closed because he’s drunk, interrupts him with, “DOOOONNNNTTTTTT CAAAAAARRRREEEEEE.”

So now I can’t stop yelling, “DOOOOONNNNTTTTT CAAAARRRREEEEE.”

My God, there just isn’t a fuck to be found or given in that exchange. It’s glorious. Granted Jay Cutler is far from the only professional athlete to blow off fans, but nobody does it quite like him. I’d actually rather be rudely dismissed by a drunk Jay Cutler than get an actual picture with him.

“Mr. Cutler! Mr. Cutler! Can I get a ‘Fuck off and die’ from you?”

Can you even imagine what would happen if you approached a drunken, annoyed Mr. AND Mrs. Cutler? You’d be rudely interrupted to death. No really, I think it’d kill you. Regardless, I’m still intrigued. This is my new life goal.




  1. futureleader14

    If Cutler had not been drunk in this scenario, but did the same exact thing, would he be viewed as favorably?

    12 years ago at 10:11 am
  2. Plan B is Plan A

    Gave up 4 picks and got sacked 7 times last week. I think he might be a little too TFTC.

    12 years ago at 10:22 am
  3. 47

    Over the last two years, I’ve heard similar variations of this story from 3 different people in 3 different social circles.

    12 years ago at 10:37 am
    1. Strictly Anal

      ^The only people who wouldn’t have be able to see what was done are the NFL replacement refs.

      12 years ago at 1:13 pm