Jimbo Fisher Banned His Players From Going To Bars Because They Can’t Stop Punching Women
We could’ve never predicted the accuracy of Jameis Winston’s famous “I said, we said, I said we ‘scrong'” postgame interview. If anything, these past two weeks have taught us that the Florida State strength and conditioning coach does a helluva job.
Jimbo’s roving gang of mentally defective thugs has struck again. This time the suspect is another star player.
Warrant issued for Florida State's leading rusher Dalvin Cook, who is accused of punching a woman last month. pic.twitter.com/YbLe92Mzso
— SportsCenter (@SportsCenter) July 10, 2015
Coach Fisher is sure that this will be the last time, though. After OG (original genius) De’Andre Johnson was caught on video throwing away his Florida State scholarship with one blow, his buddy and battery mate Dalvin Cook figured he’d join in on the fun and repeatedly beat the crap out of some poor woman outside of yet another bar. After this latest incident, though, Jimbo came to the conclusion that something must be in the alcohol, and banned his players from going out.
Word is FSU coach Jimbo Fisher met with his team earlier today. Laid down the law; bars off limits to players. Moving forward with…
— Jim Henry (@JimHenryTALLY) July 11, 2015
As the citizens of Tallahassee celebrated the inmates return to lock-up, Cook’s alleged victim gave an interview to ESPN which lines up perfectly with everything you’d expect of a Florida State football player and the Tallahassee Police Department.
If true, this, from @Mark_Schlabach's story on FSU RB Dalvin Cook, is downright sickening. http://t.co/kl8muOsXik pic.twitter.com/EdIMpptGuo
— Barrett Sallee (@BarrettSallee) July 10, 2015
Sadly, despite their best efforts, Florida State still has a few more criminal charges to go before they become legitimate contenders for the Fulmer Cup.
June FC Top11: Auburn (44), IU (29), LSU (25), So. Miss (20), ASU (16), GA So. (15), WVU (15), Temple (14), Bama (12), I.State/Clemson(10)
— The Fulmer Cup (@TheFulmerCup) July 5, 2015
Stay scrong, FSU..
Image via YouTube
Another great day at free show university
10 years ago at 9:37 amFree Shoes University
10 years ago at 10:33 amFlorida State Criminoles
This plan should be a hit with administration, but strong-arming the plan past players feels like a real suckerpunch to the whole team
10 years ago at 9:39 amWell frankly that is what you get for sucker punching women because they won’t sleep with you.
10 years ago at 9:44 amWhat threat does their kicker pose?
10 years ago at 10:02 amI would assume he has a lot of power in that leg of his. He could probably cunt punt someone through the ceiling.
10 years ago at 10:13 amWell you just punched a hole in my argument. Looks like this was a swing and a miss, I clearly don’t have what it takes to play for FSU.
10 years ago at 10:24 amTelling underage kids not to go to bars has always worked well, I’m sure this will be equally successful.
10 years ago at 9:42 amProblem solved
10 years ago at 9:52 amJust another case of white females discriminating against black males.
10 years ago at 9:54 am#blacklivesmatter
They we’re also called thugs. I’m surprised you didn’t catch that.
10 years ago at 9:58 amAnd just another case of black guys beating up white girls, not like the thugs had a father to tell them to not do that
10 years ago at 11:49 amUh…
10 years ago at 12:35 pmEasy there, Hoss. We don’t know the race of the victim. Leave the race-hustling to the liberals.
10 years ago at 12:40 pmWhite girls discriminating against black athletes is indeed very rare: (https://instagram.com/p/2HW2EcPCmb/), though I’m surprised MSNBC didn’t throw in some language about violence against women and rape culture. Get it together, MSNBC. #Trifecta
10 years ago at 12:38 pmThe black athlete lust is crazy in the SEC. Gotta start lifting and spending some time in the sun (no offense): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_9akLFOE-r4
10 years ago at 12:53 pmmildly off-topic, but Denzel sweetheart what’s the deal with guys such as yourself? You know, proudly anti-racist/anti-conservative/anti-establishment/pro-black(and whatever else is out there of this sort) who obsess over getting with white girls? I’ve been on the receiving end of this way too many times now and can’t really wrap my head around it…?
10 years ago at 3:10 pm“obsess after sleeping with white girls? I’ve been on the receiving end of this many times” I’m sorry he treated you like this after sex. A few questions of my own:
10 years ago at 6:55 pm1. Why did you make an account to attack men in every post? (see http://i.imgur.com/b2wz0P6.png) 2. Where did you get “anti-conservative” from my tweet making fun of MSNBC and asserting that white women usually aren’t racist? 3. Why would anyone brag about getting with white girls, and how could you interpret that from my original post? 4. Why are most of your posts about race, ethnicity, and gender? 5. Don’t you realize it’s painfully obvious that you’re a guy?
LOL-There was no mentioning of “sleeping with” in my post sweetheart.Care to go back over that once more?What i meant to say was that I’ve been frequently hit on by guys like yourself and it gets me wondering… I feel like i struck a chord though. I do apologize, it wasn’t my intention to bruise your ego at all( just mere curiosity on my part).
10 years ago at 7:45 pmBut to answer your questions:
1. eeeer i didn’t…? again,i do apologize that my inquiry caused so much offence as to propel you to embark on a bizarre stalking binge. I’m sure you don’t normally get so flustered by strangers over the internet.
2. It’s an observation I’ve made over time from lurking around here. You’re a frequent poster on anti-racism.
3. I don’t know. It’s why i raised the question. You do seem to have a thing for posting pictures of that couple(comes across as a tad obsessive) so it got me wondering why are you so offended when someone argues that it’s an unlikely pairing(statistical truth btw). You’re a proud black man aren’t you? And you dislike racist supremacy? Why are white women cause of concern to you then?Shouldn’t you just brush it aside since surely since you’re pro-black we shouldn’t mean all that much. As i’ve said, i’ve experience of attracting “black activists” and it confuses the shit out of me.
4.They aren’t…? I don’t post that much. Also,lol see number 2.
5. Sorry to disappoint but i’m not. To reiterate,striking your ego was not my intention. Curiosity simply got the best of me.
^Condescending bitch.
10 years ago at 9:48 amIf two individual brothers were canned for assaulting women the school would lay pipe into the collective chapter ass. Bullshit as always.
10 years ago at 9:57 amIt’s because we don’t rake in money for universities the way athletic programs do. Plus it’s easier to can an entire fraternity chapter than it is to even kick off one star athlete.
10 years ago at 10:01 amIt’s BS, but it makes total sense financially.
10 years ago at 12:42 pmWow lets not drag down our beloved athletic teams just because we get treated unfairly. I don’t want the school to ban football and I don’t want them to ban fraternities. Lets just be happy that somebody is getting off the hook even if we get treated like trash.
10 years ago at 4:18 pmWhen is ESPN going to start broadcasting “The Race for the Fulmer Cup” during the off-season. Its not like there is anything else going on.
10 years ago at 4:27 pmIt’s also come out that Dalvin Cook was cited for chaining dogs together and it was swept under the rug. Let’s see how that plays out on top of this.
10 years ago at 9:58 amI don’t think it’s the bars fault, I think it’s the football players hitting women, but I could be totally wrong.
10 years ago at 10:02 amGuns kill people, people dont kill people
10 years ago at 10:21 amMaybe he just wants them to no longer be drunk in public places with security cameras. Since obviously trying to prevent college kids from getting drunk st all is a lost cause.
10 years ago at 10:30 amPreventing FSU players from abusing women may also be a lost cause, just gotta make it through 2 years, then it’s the NFL’s problem. #NoMore.
10 years ago at 11:01 am3 years*
10 years ago at 11:13 amTallahassee Police, always there to cover for a FSU football player.
10 years ago at 10:03 amBuy her? Given his presumed intelligence level I’m going to guess he means “buy her” in the Eastern European Taken/Hostel sense and not the “my SO is a trophy wife/gold-digger” sense.
10 years ago at 10:15 amWhat the fuck are you talking about
10 years ago at 11:11 am