Jimbo Fisher Banned His Players From Going To Bars Because They Can’t Stop Punching Women
We could’ve never predicted the accuracy of Jameis Winston’s famous “I said, we said, I said we ‘scrong'” postgame interview. If anything, these past two weeks have taught us that the Florida State strength and conditioning coach does a helluva job.
Jimbo’s roving gang of mentally defective thugs has struck again. This time the suspect is another star player.
Warrant issued for Florida State's leading rusher Dalvin Cook, who is accused of punching a woman last month. pic.twitter.com/YbLe92Mzso
— SportsCenter (@SportsCenter) July 10, 2015
Coach Fisher is sure that this will be the last time, though. After OG (original genius) De’Andre Johnson was caught on video throwing away his Florida State scholarship with one blow, his buddy and battery mate Dalvin Cook figured he’d join in on the fun and repeatedly beat the crap out of some poor woman outside of yet another bar. After this latest incident, though, Jimbo came to the conclusion that something must be in the alcohol, and banned his players from going out.
Word is FSU coach Jimbo Fisher met with his team earlier today. Laid down the law; bars off limits to players. Moving forward with…
— Jim Henry (@JimHenryTALLY) July 11, 2015
As the citizens of Tallahassee celebrated the inmates return to lock-up, Cook’s alleged victim gave an interview to ESPN which lines up perfectly with everything you’d expect of a Florida State football player and the Tallahassee Police Department.
If true, this, from @Mark_Schlabach's story on FSU RB Dalvin Cook, is downright sickening. http://t.co/kl8muOsXik pic.twitter.com/EdIMpptGuo
— Barrett Sallee (@BarrettSallee) July 10, 2015
Sadly, despite their best efforts, Florida State still has a few more criminal charges to go before they become legitimate contenders for the Fulmer Cup.
June FC Top11: Auburn (44), IU (29), LSU (25), So. Miss (20), ASU (16), GA So. (15), WVU (15), Temple (14), Bama (12), I.State/Clemson(10)
— The Fulmer Cup (@TheFulmerCup) July 5, 2015
Stay scrong, FSU..
Image via YouTube
The NCAA has no problem with suspending Gurley for autographs but stays silent on issues such as this. They need to drop the hammer on shit-stains like Cook.
10 years ago at 10:32 amWell if you look on the bright side, when Dalvin and his buddy get booted from the team they can always take up professional boxing with confidence.
10 years ago at 10:51 amRumor is you fight men in that, might not be their thing.
10 years ago at 12:38 pmJust imagine if this wasn’t a football team and a fraternity, they would have an entire organization removed and people in jail by now.
10 years ago at 11:15 amThat wouldn’t ever be a scenario; because we, unlike these pitiful excuses for men, don’t beat women.
10 years ago at 8:20 pmDon’t worry guys, I’m sure we’ll see a fine piece written in Rolling Stone about the terrors involved with being a woman at the same bar as FSU football players.
10 years ago at 11:17 amSometimes I forget that Auburn players can usually be thugs as well… But 44?? Holy shit
10 years ago at 11:25 amI knew people at the scene. This is out of context. He was trying to break up a fight outside and the one girl got pushed back and fell. She knew she could collect a payday since he’s a football player. I understand many athletes doing this shit, but Dalvin Cook is known to be one of the guys with the most character on the team, and it’s unlikely this story comes to him getting in serious trouble.
10 years ago at 8:53 am