John Boehner Is Not About To Give Up Wine And Cigarettes To Become Your President
11 years ago

There is a certain arbitrary standard that we, as Americans, hold our president to. Yes, he can golf, but he can’t golf that much. He especially can’t golf when the country is in a recession or in the 12 months following a natural disaster. Sure, he can have an occasional cigarette or glass of wine, but what kind of message is that sending to the people? It’s all a bit ironic considering the last three presidents probably spent enough money on drugs in their college years to have financed Pablo Escobar’s summer home. But, as society demands it, the president has to be straight as an arrow, and that doesn’t sit well with everyone.

Speaker of the House John Boehner understands the crippling limitations of the nation’s highest office and he wants no part of it.

From Huffington Post:

“I like to play golf. I like to cut my own grass,” said Boehner, the top Republican in Congress. “I do drink red wine. I smoke cigarettes. And I’m not giving that up to be President of the United States.”

It’s weird how one sentence about why he shouldn’t be President makes it feel all the more like he should be President. Is he playing mind games with us?

Someone else can deal with universal healthcare, national debt, and all of that garbage. Boehner will be on the back nine lighting a cigar with his buddies and wiping his ass with your irrelevant opinions about his lifestyle.

[via Huffington Post]

Image via The New York Times

  3. UniversityOfKentucky

    John Boehner would be a damn good president. Better than the communist that we have now.

    11 years ago at 5:03 pm
      1. Natty Enthusiast

        my god i want to destroy everything youve ever loved you liberal fascist asshat

        11 years ago at 12:03 am
      2. thesecondbasement

        Liberal fascist? Congratulations, you’ve created a whole new political belief system. That makes as much sense as calling someone a Tea Party Democrat

        11 years ago at 4:46 am
      3. blt33

        You’re a moron. Fascism is a form of authoritarianism, liberals are far more authoritarian than conservatives i.e. more government involvement. If you don’t know, don’t say! 🙂

        11 years ago at 5:59 am
      4. thesecondbasement

        Well one could certainly arrive at that conclusion, given enough time to research and distort the definitions they want to use to support their viewpoint and a strong enough desire to not be proven wrong. For example, if I am in fact a moron, and you are responding to what I have to say, and after all, they say you are influenced by the company you keep, then you too must also be a moron. There is no other logical conclusion.

        11 years ago at 8:32 am
      5. KennyFuckingPowerMoves

        Step 1: go to where your washer and dryer is (usually downstairs, spare room etc.)
        Step 2: look for this delicious bottle of stuff called ble-achè (its Latin for fucking tasty)
        Step 3: drink that shit until your toes go numb and your insides burn
        Step 4: die

        11 years ago at 4:18 am
    2. Clamburglar

      To be fair, I think Ruger Dern would be a better president than the one we have now. The State of the Union Address would be legendary at the very least.

      11 years ago at 8:25 pm
  4. RichLaxBro

    I know for a fact the TFM Intern(s) gets it easier than Boehner’s Interns. Step it up TFM.

    11 years ago at 5:29 pm
  6. thesecondbasement

    Boehner is a scumbag. He threw the entire Republican Party under the bus in the same interview. It can’t get any worse than Obama in the Oval Office, but Boehner would be a sideways step at best. He’s the definition of a RINO.

    11 years ago at 5:47 pm
  10. Arkanfrat

    Our current president smokes and I could go find articles on Fox about how he golfs too much. If those are the necessary qualifications to be a TFPOTUS, I guess Obama fits the bill. If not, this article is shit.

    11 years ago at 11:54 am