Jordan Spieth, Rickie Fowler, Justin Thomas, And Smylie Kaufman Are Living Out The College Spring Break They Never Had

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Spend your weekend grinding in San Antonio trying to win the prestigious Valero Texas Open or go down to the Bahamas with your boys and get sloshed at Baker’s Bay, ripping shots while catching some rays? Yeah, not exactly a tough call.

What a squad. Jordan with his fresh plugs trying to drink away the memories of 12 the best he can, Rickie making up for lost time for all the parties he skipped at Okie State, and Justin Thomas going a week without be referred to as “Jordan’s less successful friend.” Biggest vacation winner here has to be Smylie Kaufman, though.

All I knew about this dude was that he drove a 2008 Nissan Murano and was still living at home with his mom and pops. Jim Nantz made sure to drill that into our brains at the Masters. Now, from the looks of this Snapchat, dude is cashing in on both his personal brand (what up, Rovell) and actual coin. You just know Spieth — who is sneakily becoming the new degenerate gambler on tour, following in the footsteps of Phil Mickelson — is throwing around Ben Franklins like monopoly money each hole and Smylie is taking advantage of Jordan’s “case of the hooks.” A potentially huge payday for the LSU alumnus.

Back to Rickie. Would you by shocked if he just partied his way off tour in a few years time? Kid had a notorious rap for avoiding all of that in college, but now he’s starting to let loose. I’ve seen this movie before, and it usually ends with some shy, confused, coked-out Arizona State co-ed on a leather couch with a somewhat fearful look in her eyes as she sees her innocence wilt away under a face full of semen. I don’t anticipate Rickie’s wild streak to go down that road, but you never know.

[h/t Busted Coverage]

    1. CajunNu

      I can’t say I wouldn’t be the biggest of all cheese dicks if I had the lives and money that these guys (Jordan and Rickie) do.

      9 years ago at 1:23 pm
      1. MrStealDornsMom

        Both of you can shut the fuck up and shove those cheese dicks up your asses.

        9 years ago at 3:46 pm
  1. GoodbyeNormalStreet

    I’ve heard nothing but negative things about Spieth/Kaufman from people who grew up around them. Spieth’s still the man.

    9 years ago at 1:30 pm
    1. SirCarlosIII

      Dude is just winning at life. His girlfriend goes to my school and is an absolute dime.

      9 years ago at 5:05 pm
  2. StoryTeller

    This is great for the game. Way better than Tiger verbally sodomizing himself after a bad shot or Nick Faldo and his pretentious attitude and bullshit British lingo on TV.

    9 years ago at 1:33 pm
  3. Bro-hann Sebastian Bach

    Is there not a more qualified person on the TFM staff that can start posting the golf videos? Speaking of we haven’t gotten a Regs driving update since you started working out.

    9 years ago at 2:21 pm
    1. Dan Regester

      I don’t know. Two years as an intern and six months as a full time employee at the Golf Channel is pretty hard to match.

      9 years ago at 2:38 pm
      1. MrStealDornsMom

        Those six months of employment were definitely just out of pity for being a sandwich/coffee bitch for two years.

        9 years ago at 3:47 pm
      2. Mward2002

        So you got to check out Lauren Thompson, and you’ve made zero mention of it ever? Seems pretty sketchy, Regs.

        9 years ago at 5:07 pm
      3. Dan Regester

        I smiled and said hi to Holly Sonders just about every day. She would just continue to walk and pretend she didn’t hear me. The sexual tension between the two of us was clearly electric.

        9 years ago at 5:55 pm
      4. The_Names_Doug_Dimmadome

        So did you get fired for sexual harassment or because you were no good at your job?

        9 years ago at 6:20 pm
      5. The_Names_Doug_Dimmadome

        I know that, Daniel. I was only kidding. I appreciate that you respond to comments though.

        9 years ago at 7:20 pm
    2. Bro-hann Sebastian Bach

      Teaching young America how to go balls deep. TDannyRegsM. Now you just gotta keep it under 100 for the g.o.a.t. Tfm redemption.

      9 years ago at 10:47 pm
  4. frattyvandal

    Where is DeChambeau in caddy uniform? Clearly slacking on his pledgeship.

    9 years ago at 6:56 pm