Kentucky’s White Walk-On Is Selling T-Shirts Commemorating His Perfect Record
Some big news broke today when it was announced that seven of the University of Kentucky’s basketball players would be entering the draft. Those guys were good and all, but the team is actually losing eight of their most important players. However, Sam Malone, who is the 8th player no one is talking about, will not be entering the draft.
5'9", white, undershirt, headband, ankle brace, shorts down to his shins, they pulled this guy out of the rec center. pic.twitter.com/V4uA5XAkDr
— Roger Dorn (@RogerJDorn) March 27, 2015
Malone is a senior walk-on from Massachusetts. His accomplishments include three-time All-SEC Academic Team member and playing eleven total minutes this past season. He is your typical walk-on. He doesn’t have the athletic prowess of guys such as Devin Booker, Willie Cauley-Stein, or the Harrison twins. What he does offer, however, is a pretty damn solid winning percentage in games he entered. While those games were few and far between, Malone is boasting a perfect record.
His impact on games was minimal. This past season he missed his only field goal attempt of the season, but that hasn’t deterred him from taking entirely undeserved credit for his team’s success. Because he is a graduating senior, Malone is now able to make some money from his time on the UK bench and will be doing so by selling “Human Victory Cigar” t-shirts.
BOOOOOOOM Official: Sam Malone "WON EVERY GAME I PLAYED" Human Victory Cigar T-Shirts https://t.co/LxTqRPEgpY pic.twitter.com/dSkbSz7FfW
— Sam Malone (@SamMaloneuk13) April 9, 2015
That’s the face of a man who just completed the best four years of his life while simultaneously contributing practically nothing. It’s humanly impossible not to admire the shit out of the guy. He deserves to make bank.
The only video I could find of Malone doing anything on the court is this gem of him air balling the piss out of a three-point shot during Kentucky’s 2011 Blue-White game.
Thanks to a reader, we were able to discover this gem of Malone completely botching a layup while Kentucky led by nearly 60 points.
@BogeyWells Heres some more sick Sam Malone footage https://t.co/SX9IQsaWDL
— Aaron Camper (@thecampstar) April 10, 2015
It’s tough not to love the little white walk-on. Malone is a special type. A quick scroll through his Twitter revealed the following tweets.
#SCtop10 pic.twitter.com/L3Vzu4VWtQ
— Sam Malone (@SamMaloneuk13) April 7, 2015
Can't stop me #andtwosteals pic.twitter.com/p1s6iuFYYq
— Sam Malone (@SamMaloneuk13) April 7, 2015
Whatever dude @BarstoolBigCat still got some great mashed potatoes pic.twitter.com/DgkOte8iYe
— Sam Malone (@SamMaloneuk13) April 5, 2015
Hey @BarstoolBigCat you scared? I would be pic.twitter.com/WKjnNYJF6y
— Sam Malone (@SamMaloneuk13) April 2, 2015
“@WhiteBballPains: The caption #WhiteBballPains pic.twitter.com/4ZXwSlQ0h0” so what I keep it real
— Sam Malone (@SamMaloneuk13) March 8, 2015
He fully embraces his role. You’ve earned yourself a fan, Malone..
Image via Tricon Sports
I wouldn’t buy it.
10 years ago at 9:58 amCool
10 years ago at 10:23 amI would
10 years ago at 10:33 amContributing the least and taking credit for the results. TFM
10 years ago at 10:09 amTldr still blacked
10 years ago at 10:23 amTaking credit where credit isn’t due I like it
10 years ago at 10:58 amhttps://totalfratmove.wpengine.com/taking-credit-where-credit-isnt-due-tfm-2/
Me too.
10 years ago at 11:01 pmDon’t quote yourself dickhead.
10 years ago at 11:39 pmhttps://totalfratmove.wpengine.com/citing-yourself-from-your-previous-works-in-your-final-paper-tfm/
There’s an app for that, too.
10 years ago at 10:09 pmCalipari handing out a bid to an obvious GPA booster. TFM.
10 years ago at 12:08 pmThe college Brian Scalabrine.
10 years ago at 3:07 pmSammy from BMS?
10 years ago at 4:24 pmThe kid’s dad is Joe Malone, the former Republican state treasurer of Massachusetts. His dad ran for a few offices unsuccessfully, including U.S. Senate and Governor.
10 years ago at 6:53 pmI go to Montana state, I didn’t know we had females playing for our basketball team. My IM team could put up more than 26 points against Kentucky
10 years ago at 9:39 amPower Move.
10 years ago at 6:36 pm