Let’s Talk About Kid Rock Running For U.S. Senate In Michigan

Wally Bryton7 years ago

What the bawitdaba da bang a dang diggy diggy hell is going on?

Robert James Ritchie just announced he’s running for U.S. Senate in Michigan. You may recognize this man by his other name: Kid Rock. The rock-rapper/country superstar/noted “long hair don’t care” advocate recently announced his plans to mosey on over into the world of politics.

At this point, it’s not that shocking. America today feels like a weird alternate universe where everything is comedically unpredictable. The host of The Apprentice is the leader of the free world, Cliff Huxtable is the most prolific sexual predator in American history, Leo finally got that Oscar, and, most shocking of all, EMINEM HAS A BEARD NOW. What the fuck? So yeah, not too crazy that we’re adding “Kid Rock running for senator” to our laundry list of hilarious American plot twists. Someone clearly punched a glory hole into the space time continuum at some point.

Looks like the floodgates are now open for any celebrity to just jump right into politics. We’re slowly but surely on the path to having President Shoenice or even a Mayor Mayweather in the future. Are you ready for Congressman Lil Wayne?

I don’t want to get political (that’s a lie; this article is about politics), but this scares me. I don’t care whether you’re republican or democrat; no matter what, I’ll respect you and your opinion. But you can’t deny the fact that our president is a celebrity with literally no prior political experience at all — and it’s beginning to show. It’s not farfetched to believe that Trump’s election is making random celebrities realize they could possibly parlay their fame into political office if they wanted to, and I’m not a fan of that. Leave politics to the politicians, acting to actors, and YouTube prank videos to creepy foreigners, I say.

We’ve already seen it with Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson, who’s teased a presidential run in 2020. Don’t get me wrong; I love The Rock as much as the next guy. But Dwayne, please stay away from the White House. We love you, but just stick to the Fast and the Furious films (if you get to 25 of them, my friend owes me $50).

Oprah, Will Smith, and Mark Zuckerberg have also publicly toyed with the idea of running for president one day. Even our beloved Yeezus Christ has flirted with the idea of becoming commander-in-chief. I love all of them, but the last thing we need is another celebrity with no political experience running shit. President Kanye would be hilarious, yes, but it’s too risky.

I’ve read the Bible before, and I SPECIFICALLY remember Kid Rock winning his senate race being the first sign of the apocalypse. The end may be nigh..

Listen to the Touching Base guys talk about Kid Rock’s senate bid on the most recent episode of their podcast below (Kid Rock talk starts at 11:03)

Image via Shutterstock