Let’s Get Weird
7 years ago

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It’s Friday, the sun is out (in Austin anyway), and alcohol is readily available in the United States of America, so let’s get weird.

Can someone transcribe these in brail and send it to HelenKellerTFM’s family so that fucker will email me? How fitting, though, that our Commenter of the Week was the same guy who was called out in last week’s very top comment for just basically being shitty and blackball worthy. That was a total coincidence, by the way. I just went back and looked at the comments from last week about 10 minutes ago for the first time.

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A few of you are asking me to bring back the email exchange between broken pledge Karl and his very concerned, overbearing mother. It’s going to happen. I promise. It’s such a lame excuse but I have been crazy busy at work and away from it.

Hit me with comments or questions or what you have going on this weekend.

  2. Broties n Boatshoes

    Hey Dorn, I know vaginator sucked you off during his commenter of the week interview, but can you for the love of God blackball that fucker?

    7 years ago at 1:26 pm
      2. Broties n Boatshoes

        Dorn, serious question. Can we do a Friday Night Frat Fights? Get a ring and two people (me and vaginator, for instance) and let me beat the shit of him? You can sell advertising, tickets, steam it on Facebook. Have two fraternities featured each week. Have your people contact my people.

        7 years ago at 3:10 pm
      4. AndrewsMomsAss

        I’ll send an email blast to all of my AOL contacts! He and Andrew have such fun trading Pokémon cards!

        7 years ago at 4:30 pm
      5. AndrewsMomsAss

        Ha ha that didn’t make sense! I’ve had too much cranberry juice and vodka!

        7 years ago at 4:32 pm
      7. thevaginator

        You mad bro? I might need to move in because I sure do own a lot of real estate inside your head

        7 years ago at 11:36 pm
      10. thevaginator

        You dont talk to your master like that. Now fetch me a beer and give me two hours of elephant walk you fucking serf

        7 years ago at 7:08 pm
  4. InternationalFratStudent

    Early bold prediction it will be Spurs VS Celtics NBA finals

    7 years ago at 1:37 pm
    2. LazyRican

      My dad is still getting it, it’s been 10 years but he’s coming. I know he’s coming.

      7 years ago at 9:43 pm
  6. Kramer Smash

    Ok you jags, crowdsource time. I’m looking for the door with this girl. whats the best, believeable and chickenshit you can think of to end it without a big emotional scene?

    7 years ago at 2:02 pm
    2. Broties n Boatshoes

      Tell her you fucked her sorority sister. She’ll never wanna talk to you again. And probably slap the shit out of you which would be great TV.

      7 years ago at 2:09 pm
    3. Cuntpunting

      “Look, I’m just going through some family stuff that I need to take care of before I can really commit to anything. You get it, right?”

      7 years ago at 2:14 pm
    4. Ricky Spanish

      Treat her like shit until she cheats on you then never talk to her again

      7 years ago at 3:04 pm
      1. Kramer Smash

        Ive pulled that before and it didn’t work. Some girls dont mind being treated like shit

        7 years ago at 3:46 pm
      3. thevaginator

        Wow good one man! You really showed me! Get me a beer you fucking peasant.

        7 years ago at 7:16 pm
      6. gtk9875

        What kind of a fucking halfwit thinks her friends wouldn’t find all of this bs and show it to her? Better man up before you lose more than just a girlfriend.

        7 years ago at 3:28 pm
    5. Butanefratoil

      Start crapping the bed every time you stay at her place, stay at her place constantly and leave messes everywhere, never clean up anything, when she eventually bitches at you for leaving messes and crapping the bed say you’ll work on it, but don’t do shit, ask for money constantly or always be asking for her to get you stuff with no intention of paying her back, get sloppy drunk anytime you’ll be able to sleep it off, but do it really late at night and always wake her up, she’ll eventually just think youre a trashy pig and break it off.

      7 years ago at 3:12 pm
    8. CurtisSnow69

      I asked the last girl I was with if I should get checked and she hasn’t spoke to me since

      7 years ago at 8:28 pm
    9. ADOcoon

      I am going to eat laps for this, but listen to some JTrain podcast. Lots of write ins about how to bail, and I’m sure Papa JT’s got some Jew wisdom for you.

      My advice? Be direct. Just tell her she sucks

      7 years ago at 1:55 pm
  7. BobMotherFuckingBarker

    Me and a few buddies have been debating who the greatest rappers of all time are for a while now. I say that it goes: Nas, Biggie, Tupac, Eminem, Big L. Would like to hear some opinions on this.

    7 years ago at 2:08 pm
  8. Cuntpunting

    Heaven or Hell party tonight… anybody got any good suggestions for decorating “heaven”?

    7 years ago at 2:13 pm
    1. BobMotherFuckingBarker

      My version of heaven is being strapped to a wall while a fat Russian woman dressed head to toe in leather slaps my balls with no remorse. I don’t know how you’d be able to decorate that, though.

      7 years ago at 2:16 pm
      1. RisingFratstarOfTX

        I guess after decades of any PIR girl you want, you start finding new ways to spice things up.

        7 years ago at 9:12 am
      1. Cuntpunting

        Cotton and Foam are good.. the fog is gonna be downstairs, as you walk down the stairs the lights fade from white to red and fog comes up. Looks a lot like walking down the stairs to hell.

        7 years ago at 2:46 pm
      2. Broties n Boatshoes

        For Hell, put Wally’s photo everywhere and hand out copies of his “articles”

        7 years ago at 3:08 pm
    2. BobMotherFuckingBarker

      If you could find a chinese place that stayed open late, if not then I’ve never been disappointed with a drunk and/or high gordita crunch wrap from taco bell

      7 years ago at 8:35 pm