Breaking Down The College Football Game of the Year

Here we are, already in week 10 of college football season, and the men are separating from the boys. The teams to be taken seriously are becoming more and more apparent, and the conference championship pictures are coming into focus. When discussions occur involving conference titles and national championship implications, they always involve one particular conference.

 

Many are calling the November 5 matchup between LSU and Alabama the “Game of the Century.” I’m not ready to make a ridiculous claim like that, but it’s undoubtedly the game of the year in 2011. With no legitimate threats representing the SEC East this season, the winner of this game has a clear path to a title berth. And if history is any indicator, the SEC champion will go on to win the natty. The last five national champions came from the SEC, and LSU and Bama each have one in that time frame. This game is big. Really fucking big. My pants tighten up just thinking about it. In a conference that prides itself on tough, physical defense, this game features the top 2 in the nation. These teams have a lot on the line, but who comes out on top? Take a ride with Dorn while we preview the game.

LSU

The undefeated LSU Tigers travel to T-Town in a battle of #1 versus #2. Les Miles features a dominant SEC-style defense with a big, nasty D-line that ranks 3rd nationally against the run and a talented, athletic secondary that is ranked 5th in passing efficiency defense. Headlining the Tiger defense is CB Tyrann Mathieu, better known as the Honey Badger. Much like his namesake, Mathieu does what he wants, and he wants to rip off your head and shit down your neck. Keep an eye on this reckless playmaker. He hasn’t played a game since October 15 due to a bye week and a drug suspension, so he’ll be looking to re-emerge from his hiatus with some game-changing plays. On offense, LSU doesn’t fare quite as well as the D. The QB position is interesting with two guys sharing time. The steady handed Jarrett Lee is your “just don’t fuck it up” type of quarterback, but Jordan Jefferson has more big play potential and an added running threat. These guys will try and get the ball into the hands of their talented receivers and let them go to work on that stout Bama secondary. Les will have to earn his paycheck this week.

 

I consider Les Miles to be one of the more underrated head coaches in the country. His teams always show up in a bad mood, and they play hard for their coach. Speaking of, I wonder what the kooky, yet quotable, Les Miles thinks of this matchup. And yes, these are real Les Miles quotes:

#1 vs. #2…pretty exciting stuff, huh coach?

“So rankings can be a compliment certainly, and it can certainly be a distraction, but not certainly at this level.”

Okay…will your team be ready to play?

“I want my guys focused. I don’t want the distraction of not being focused to be a distraction.”

Interesting. How do you feel about the return of the Honey Badger?

“Maybe he gets the game he gets to have a year later.”

I see. How do you plan on slowing down T-Rich?

“I can tell you that our uniform will represent LSU and look very much like a uniform an LSU football team will wear.”

You didn’t answer my question, coach, but you’re certainly an interesting guy.

“I fight for unique and accurate ways to be descriptive.”

You sure as shit do.

The man overly articulates and accentuates complete nonsense. He is pure entertainment, and so is his football team. However, they’ll need to bring their A game to have a good shot at leaving Bryant-Denny with a W.

Alabama

As good as the LSU defense is, Bama’s is even better (at least statistically). They rank #1 in the nation in the following categories: rushing defense, passing efficiency defense, total defense, and scoring defense. Number 1 in four different categories out of 120 teams. The leaders of the defense are linebacker Dont’a Hightower and cornerback Dre Kirkpatrick.

 

In addition to a great defense, Alabama has the advantage in three vital areas. First, they have the home crowd advantage. The scene inside the stadium will be like if Mardi Gras had sex with the Super Bowl. Outrageous. Secondly, they have the star power in Trent Richardson. I’m not sure LSU has that leader in the offensive huddle to lean on in tense situations, but Bama does, and he brings a dominating physical presence. Lastly, Alabama has the coaching advantage. As good as I believe Les Miles is with a headset on, the Nicktator is the best coach in the land. He has to use a stepladder to get eye-to-eye with his players, but they listen. And they play tough football.

I can already hear the obnoxious “Rollllllll Taaaaaahd!” that will ensue with a Bama victory.

Dorn’s Prediction

Great defense is going to keep this one close and low scoring. Ultimately, the home crowd at Bryant-Denny and a slight edge in star power gives Alabama the W. Richardson grinds out a buck-twenty on the ground with two paydirts. I know I’m not really going out on a limb here, but:

Bama – 24
LSU – 20

 

  1. rooster cogburn

    Lsu 26 bama 10, the tigers and their jorttastic illiterate fanbase take the Oversigning Bowl in an impressive win

    13 years ago at 1:39 pm
    1. rooster cogburn

      umm football?

      LSU just makes plays….in the oregon game they took away two possessions from a filthy offensive team in the redzone and converted them…against west virginia the mountaineers were making a comeback and morris claiborne returned a kick. this team just has a swagger about them and theyll abuse aj mcclarron enough to force TOs..and i cant say that Richardson is going to run all over them when i havent seen him do it against a better than avg front line. and no florida doesnt count

      13 years ago at 7:53 pm
    2. The Piker

      Rooster has it right. Besides, after hearing from Bama fans last year that between Ingram and Richardson, they would run us out of Williams Brice, and then watching them combine for half of Lattimore’s total yards, and no TDs, I realized that they both struggle against a real defensive line. Then LSU held them to less than 125 yards combined a few weeks later. Since then, they haven’t played a defensive line with true NFL talent. UF is the least disciplined, most overrated defense I have ever seen, so yes, they do not count. However, I wish Alabama luck, because I want to see a hell of a game after Connor Shaw decides to pull a Garcia out of his ass and play 1 near-flawless game this season that gives us a solid victory, that was never in peril, against a great team.

      13 years ago at 7:59 pm
  2. gentleman_heritage

    going to our chi-o chapter’s semiformal saturday night, didn’t realize the damn game was in the middle of it, til just now. better be plenty of tv’s at the bar, or I’m gonna shit myself checking phone updates.

    13 years ago at 2:24 pm
  3. ThinkThereforeFRAT

    A majority of Bama fans didn’t ever even go to Bama, or college at all. It’s just the cheaper fan shirt at Walmart here in the Great State and it gives them a reason to get irreparably drunk once a week. The other days are just day-ragers that end up in fewer teeth and more kids. Better go buy more Houndstooth Snuggies.

    13 years ago at 2:37 pm
    1. UGAfratchampion

      I hope to God that you go to LSU, because that would just confirm how much of a dumbass you are for thinking that lousy-ana is in any way, shape, or form superior to the state of Alabama. Someone’s forgetting that they have the SHITTIEST roads in the nation, not to mention a bunch of complete and total shit-for-brains citizens who can barely speak English due to their fucking cajun slurred speech. Worst state south of the mason dixon.

      13 years ago at 4:36 pm
    2. CorporateLaw

      ^fuck you. LSU is fucking awesome. Florida is the worst state south of the Mason-Dixon. Also, I have nothing bad to say about Alabama.

      13 years ago at 5:13 pm
    3. The Piker

      Thats not exclusive to the SEC. UNC is the same damn way. As is Penn State. Or they go to branch campuses, and act like they went to CH or SC.

      13 years ago at 8:13 pm
    4. broskeet2

      Arguing Louisiana vs Alabama is like arguing whose shit smells better. There is no right answer.

      13 years ago at 12:21 am
    5. Pharaoh of Frats

      Woah woah, let’s leave Florida out of this. Only half of Florida is shitty anyway. It’s those geeds down in south beach that give us all a bad name.

      13 years ago at 12:00 pm
  4. Que

    This game is huge, as it decides who gets to ran over by Oklahoma State in the National Championship.

    13 years ago at 2:40 pm
    1. Que

      *gets to be. Sorry for the typo, I’m already drunk celebrating the fact that after tomorrow there will only be one overrated team left ranked in front of us.

      13 years ago at 4:11 pm
    2. UGAfratchampion

      you are a fucking idiot if you actually believe either of these SEC teams is gonna lose to osu

      13 years ago at 4:31 pm
    3. Que

      Computers, which have no human bias and are only based on cold, hard data and facts, rank the Big 12 as the toughest conference and OSU as the #1 team. Eat shit Bama/LSU.

      13 years ago at 4:48 pm
    4. The Piker

      Computers also cannot analyze the games and find flaws that would be exposed by the talent of an SEC defense…Since no one at all even puts out a defense in the Big 12. I swear, some of those games, its like 11 v 6. Are all of your defensive coordinators in that conference mentally retarded?

      13 years ago at 8:01 pm
    5. Que

      OSU certainly has a serviceable enough defense to win the championship, as neither LSU nor Bama will be able to hold their offense below 35, and neither of those teams have the offense to hit the 30’s on the Cowboy defense.

      13 years ago at 8:50 pm
    6. The Piker

      Please tell me you are not retarded? OSU put less points on A&M than did Arkansas, and Arkansas was lit the fuck up by Bama.

      13 years ago at 8:54 pm
    7. YourCutz91

      You beat A&M by 1 point by coming from behind and you think your the best team in the country? Please get the fuck out of here and go die.

      13 years ago at 9:58 pm
    8. rooster cogburn

      the Big 12 does have talented defenses, OSU leads the nation in turnovers forced and OU leads the country in sacks. it isnt that the defenses are that bad its that the big 12 actually has competent top-flight NFL level QBs. between Landry Jones, Brandon Weeden, and RGIII you have 3 QBs who may, if given a choice, every single NFC west team would consider trading their quarterback for. now look at the QBs in the SEC, some 3-4 true and redshirt freshman and a couple of “please dont fuck this up” juniors and seniors. its a huge difference.

      13 years ago at 10:38 pm
    9. USS Hazer

      Wow, just wow. You have got to be a raging meth addict to think that OSU could run over Bama OR LSU. They’re probably not even the best team in their own shitty state, much less their own shitty conference that apparently forgot how to fucking count how many teams are left in it. Big HowManyNow?
      Also, NFL ready QB doesn’t translate to national title. Just look at the last few BCS champs and see how many of those QBs are lighting it up in the NFL.

      13 years ago at 11:18 pm
    10. broskeet2

      If the big 12 is so shitty why was the SEC so desperate to come and steal two of its teams, and two of its middle tier teams at that?

      13 years ago at 12:17 am
    11. The Piker

      We took them because we thought everyone was expanding. Do you really think the SEC isn’t happy with the status quo? 5 straight titles? 4 top 10 teams?

      13 years ago at 12:34 am
    12. Pharaoh of Frats

      The SEC has never lost a national championship in the last 20 years. I don’t see OSU coming out of that game with a win.

      13 years ago at 12:01 pm
    13. Que

      Tell me Piker, what flaws would an SEC defense expose? Brandon Weeden can throw the ball all over the field, we have a damn good offensive line, Blackmon and the other receivers will not be stopped, and we have a 3-headed monster at running back led by Joseph Randle. Go ahead and score 24 points on us if you can; we’ll more than double it.

      And last year’s title game was clearly won by a NFL-ready quarterback.

      13 years ago at 12:59 pm
    14. TheFrasters

      Piker, you are retarded. The Law of Transitivity doesn’t apply to football…

      13 years ago at 4:15 pm
    15. DavidAllanBro

      ^^ARe you seriously talking shit about the SEC and praising OSU? Kill yourself in a fucking horrible death. I hope you are joking. OSU motherfuckn.i.g.ger

      13 years ago at 4:16 pm
    16. YourCutz91

      Yeah Que, your sounding an awful lot like Oregon this year… Who got butt fucked at a mutual field by LSU. I’ll make sure I put your name down next to the BCS Bowl schedule, if OSU even makes it that far.

      13 years ago at 8:06 pm
    17. Que

      There is absolutely no reason not to rain effusive praise down upon the Cowboys this year.

      13 years ago at 8:43 pm
    18. Nice Try

      You’re high scoring offense arguments are all bullshit. Look at all the hype about Oregon’s offense and how much it sucked against both Auburn and LSU. You’re a fucking retard if you think OSU will beat either LSU or Alabama.

      13 years ago at 8:07 pm
  5. BROwnOutOfProportion

    I had Bama in this one. If they had a decent kicker they would have won by at least 2 field goals in regulation. Their kickers choked like a 15 year old emo kid in his parents’ bedroom.

    13 years ago at 4:13 pm
  6. Ibonezalotsofwomens

    OSU would be anally ravaged if they played an SEC team. LSU and BAMA have the two best secondaries in the nation, their D-lines are quick and strong, their line backers are silverbacked gorrillas and there offenses play pretty well. OSU has what, a 40 year old QB and one good reciever?

    13 years ago at 10:26 pm