Mailbag: Dating Girls Who Are Way More Outgoing Than You, Switching To Another Fraternity

WJ Cope6 years ago

Welcome to the TFM Mailbag, wherein I will answer your questions to the best of my ability. Send your questions to [email protected]. No topics are off limits.

Hey Wes,

Thank you very much kind sir

As they say, opposites attract.

You might not want to hear this, but you’ll probably have a limited amount of success going after girls who are more outgoing and who go out on the weekends while you chill at home. The good news is, a lot of them will appreciate someone like you more as they get older.

In a few years, going out drinking more than once or twice a week will result in massive hangovers that ruin the next day, and most people tend to throttle it back a few notches once they turn 22 or 23. In the meantime, you should make more of an effort to ensure that you’re at least comfortable in a party atmosphere. It pays to be able to handle yourself in any kind of environment, and going out every now and then isn’t going to kill you.

Hey Wes,

I am not trying to leave one organization for the other, or trying to look for a better social life. I would love to hear your thoughts on this and my questions are: Am I too old/too late for this? How different can the pledging process be? Any tips to keep in mind? Thanks!

Some people would get outraged at the thought of doing what you’re thinking of doing here, considering it to be traitorous or dishonest. There might be some truth to that, but it’s clear that your current organization isn’t meeting your needs. Perhaps they sold you on promises that they weren’t able to fulfill? It helps that you’d be switching from non-IFC to IFC; that’s not as bad as jumping ship from one IFC organization to another.

Be prepared for some backlash, though. Not everyone at your current organization is going to understand where you’re coming from, and you’re going to lose friends. It looks like you stand to gain a lot more friends than you ever had with your current fraternity, though, so your decision should be worthwhile.

What’s up Wes I’m a high school junior with a quick question. I have a friend who’s in my class and his older sister is a Phi Mu sophomore, and she took him to a formal. Is it just me or is that weird? I don’t know and wanted to ask you since I figured you’d be more knowledgeable on formals. Thanks

What’s up my man? Are you bagging all those solo wins in Fortnite or what? Okay, fuck this. This is my column, I don’t need to try and relate to you. Anyway, the situation you described is, in fact, weird. She’s a sophomore, making her 19 or 20, and she took a 16 or 17-year-old kid to formal? Good for him, but I don’t like the sound of that one bit.

Formals tend to involve conduct and party favors that a young man of his age probably isn’t mature enough to deal with, and I’m not just saying that to be a responsible prude. If I would’ve had all that thrown at me in my junior year of high school, I know for a fact that I would’ve overdosed and ended up in a ditch. That girl sounds like a real piece of work, and you should make a point to stay away from her..

Remember to send any and all questions you have to [email protected].