Mailbag: Finishing College After A Long Time Away, Being A Total Lightweight

WJ Cope6 years ago

Welcome to the TFM Mailbag, wherein I will answer your questions to the best of my ability. Send your questions to [email protected]. No topics are off limits.

Hello,

– Kevin

Wow. Some heavy stuff right here. I’d say that when you get set up and enrolled, you should get in contact with some of the guys you pledged with or were good friends with in your short time in that house. If you actually joined that house again, you’d probably find that just about everyone you knew is gone by this point. If you instead reached out to some of your old friends from that time, I’d bet that at least a few of them would welcome you back with open arms. Try hitting a few of them up and seeing if they’re still in the area. I wish you the best with moving on with life and getting your degree.

Sup Wes,

Thanks man

The good news for you is that as a pledge or young active, you have a very low chance of being personally charged or implicated with anything. If you aren’t making decisions in the house, the worst you have to worry about is waking up one day and being a member of a fraternity that just got shut down. That would suck, but there are fates much worse.

Go about rush as normal. If you join a fraternity and end up having a less-than-stellar time at first due to the microscope on Greek life, just try to be patient. The Greek life at my school was in dire straits for my entire first semester as an active, but things calmed down significantly after that. To protect yourself from getting in trouble during rush and afterwards, avoid being too intoxicated when traveling around campus and to/from Greek Row.

Hey Wes,

So I’m gonna be a freshman at UW-Madison next year and I’m thinking I want to rush a frat but the problem is I don’t drink very much, so I’m a lightweight. I do smoke a lot, but I’ve just never been a huge fan of drinking. I’m obviously gonna drink more in college, but will it be a problem that I’m such a lightweight when I rush? Also, do you have any recommendations for frats in Madison?

There’s nothing wrong with not drinking very much. I’ve known several fraternity guys that didn’t drink because of religious or medical reasons, and they were still able to have a great time in college. Don’t worry too much about being a lightweight, as the fraternities know that most rushees will be making fools of themselves during rush week. They don’t expect you to be able to keep up with them.

There’s nothing wrong with getting hammered at a rush party, but you should probably control yourself and limit your drinking if you think you might have an issue with getting too drunk and making decisions that could make you look bad. I have no recommendations for fraternities in Madison. There are probably a bunch of great houses there, and you’ll want to check out as many as you can.

Here’s the scoop: I’ve done two years at a small liberal arts school and just got into UMich as a transfer. In terms of how my credits transfer, I would be a first-semester sophomore but in my third year of college. Would it be a bad look to rush a fraternity? As in, would that be a major red flag to a respectable house? I’d be turning 20 right before fall semester.

Peace,
Shad

Your situation is almost exactly the same as what I did for college, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with rushing at 19 or 20. I would argue that it gives you a bit of an advantage over the younger guys, because you’ve already had some time to figure out how to do well in college and handle your booze. Good luck, Shad. You’ll do just fine..

Remember to send any and all questions you have to [email protected].