Mailbag: Making Mistakes While Blackout Drunk, Taking A Tolerance Break

WJ Cope6 years ago

Welcome to the TFM Mailbag, wherein I will answer your questions to the best of my ability. Send your questions to [email protected]. No topics are off limits.

So I am transferring from a small 4-year private school to a massive football school this coming fall. I was in a fraternity at my previous school, that is thankfully active at my new school, and seems to be pretty damn good from my first few impressions. When I made my first visit to campus before I knew I was definitely committed to enrolling, a few guys showed me around the house and let me have dinner there with them. They were super outgoing, and seemed like they liked me for the most part.

Fast forward a few weeks later, I was committed to attending the school, and had to make another visit to register for classes. I asked around the few connections I made from my last visit within the fraternity, but everyone seemed to be really spotty with communication and some of them seemed to want absolutely no part in answering. I’m starting to think maybe I did something bad during my last visit to the school when I blacked out. I really don’t want to be blackballed from potentially joining this chapter because I would really value having a solid foundation of bros considering I’m a transfer and know next to nobody there. What should I do about this situation?

If you really want to find out what you did that night, you need to send a text to the people you went out with and ask exactly what you did when you were blacked out. I’m sure you understand by now what an amateur move it was to get that drunk the first time you hung out with people from a fraternity you could be joining, so I won’t pile on and make you feel any worse. You’ve got some salvaging to do, and you can’t afford to waste any time. Don’t be overly persistent, but do keep in contact with the brothers and try to prove you aren’t a total jackass.

If their reception continues to be pretty cold, you need to speak with someone who is pretty influential in the chapter. Try their president or social chair. Sit down with them over lunch or coffee and explain that you’re not sure what exactly you did while you were drunk, but that you are sorry for that kind of conduct and that it won’t be an issue going forward. Make sure to explain how much being a part of that chapter would mean to you, and hopefully the brothers will see it that way. Good luck.

Need some help.

Things have gotten a bit weird last semester. I never used to drink all that much, and for most of the year I’ve limited my heavy drinking to Friday and Saturday. Lately, I’ve been going through a six-pack a week, and I’ve also been getting several drinks at brunch. Alcohol is starting not to affect me anymore, and I’m also gaining a little bit of weight. What can I do to turn this around?

Okay, here’s what you do. This weekend, don’t go out at all. Not only that, but don’t put yourself in any situation where alcohol will be present. If you can, take a weekend retreat to the wilderness or someplace where you don’t know anybody. Alternately, you could go hang with the parents for the weekend if you live close enough. It doesn’t matter what you do during that time. You can watch Netflix, work out, learn to cook some good stuff, whatever.

Throughout this week, the weekend, and the next week, drink lots of water and eat as healthy as possible. When you start drinking again next weekend, you’ll find that your tolerance has gone down and that alcohol has regained some of the magic it once had for you. Whether it’s alcohol, marijuana, coffee, Black Mirror, or something else, a tolerance break can do a lot of good..

Remember to send any and all questions you have to [email protected].

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