Mailbag: Wet/Dry Campuses, Drunk Hookups, And Locusts

WJ Cope6 years ago

Welcome to the TFM Mailbag, wherein I will answer your questions to the best of my ability. Send your questions to [email protected]. No topics are off limits.

I’ve really enjoyed reading the copious amount of material about college life on your site and watching the ‘cultured’ content on your IG page. One thing though that I can’t get over is whether I should full send my way into a frat in college (University of Tampa) or not. I’ve never really been a big partier, not by choice, mainly because I don’t get along with many kids at my TINY semi-boarding high school. Plus, I’ve always seen frats as just buying friends. Something unique about UT is they have Greek life but no frat houses on the campus itself (which I found odd because they made sure to make a point that they are NOT a ‘dry campus.’) So my question remains, what suggestions do you have?

I can’t get over the idea of calling University of Tampa “UT,” but I digress. Honestly, I didn’t think fraternities were going to be my thing back when I started college, but not long after those towers fell I realized that fraternities come in all shapes and sizes. You’ll obviously want to pick one where the boys don’t remind you of the dicks at your boarding school, and that shouldn’t be too difficult. I’d give rushing a try, because if you don’t like it you can just say “pass” and move on with your life.

As for the whole “dry or wet campus” situation, don’t let that be a huge factor in your decision. The school I went to was a dry campus, but authorities would often turn a blind eye to the drinking that was going on as long as we weren’t being douches about it. Being a wet campus does not automatically make things better for partying, and it might actually make for stricter enforcement of alcohol laws. Talk to someone who already goes there to find out how “UT” handles it.

A final thing I want to note is that if the school is actually pushing the message on prospective students that they’re a wet campus, that is the trashiest thing about the school besides it being located in Tampa. They seem like an uncle that lets you and your friends drink at his house, but then tries to join in on the fun and hit on the girls you brought over. It’s a red flag.

Wes –

Thanks

Thanks dude, glad you’ve enjoyed the very excellent and good content I’ve put out over the years. It sounds like your head is in the right place if you’re looking for guys that you’ll be able to get along with very well, but be careful not to confuse comfort with compatibility.

What I mean is, it’s really easy to join up with some guys that are just like you and your current friend group, but you should be looking for people that’ll make you better. It’s kind of like asking out a girl who might be the slightest bit out of your league but who will make you feel pressured to go to the gym regularly so she doesn’t break up with you.

Hey Wes,

I’m not usually one to start making out in the middle of a rager but this weekend it happened at my good friend’s fraternity. Thing is that I was too trashed to remember her name or exactly what she looks like, I remember small things but not that much. But because I don’t do this a lot I’m a little on edge about running into her on campus and her remembering me when I don’t remember her right away. Should I try to figure out who she is just in case or should I just leave it alone?

I need you to look around to your left and right to make sure no one is listening. All clear? Okay, good. Now mark my words: You cannot run into this girl on campus. If you don’t avoid her at all costs, she’ll make eye contact with you one day and you’ll begin to feel dizzy and experience a strange sensation just under your skin. Right as you start to foam at the mouth, locusts will begin to burst out of every orifice of your body and you will cease to exist.

Oh wait, maybe none of that will happen. Maybe she’ll walk right on by without recognizing your quivering ass. Hookups happen in college, and they’re not a big deal. It might seem like a big deal for you, but it absolutely isn’t in the grand (and not so grand) scheme of things. Just chill out and see what happens..

Remember to send any and all questions you have to [email protected].