Metta World Peace Is Changing His Name To Something Even More Ridiculous To Honor New Team
10 years ago

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Metta World Peace (formerly known as Ron Artest) is back in the news. As you might have expected, it’s not for his skills on the basketball court.

One of the most eccentric players in the NBA is taking the remnants of his talent to the Sichuan Blue Whales of the Chinese Basketball Association, in–you guessed it–China.

Here’s Metta signing his contract a few days ago.

There are so many different emotions going on in this photo. Metta appears as if he’s delighted to make some yuan, the guy in purple looks as if he’s apprehensive as to what comes next, and the two on the right seem as if they regret everything leading up to this moment.

Because he’s batshit crazy and most likely desperate for media attention, Metta World Peace has elected to change his name to Panda Friend in honor of his new home. While it may seem bland at first, it shows he did some thorough research on his new home rather than taking the easy road out and naming himself P.F. Chang.

Despite this being his third name change in several years, he will never be able to escape the glorious Malice at the Palace.

  2. AXPeeInHerButt

    The only things reading this article has done for me is make me regret wasting 3 minutes of my life that I will never get back and make me pretty damn hungry for Panda Express. That shit is good

    10 years ago at 4:59 pm
      1. AXPeeInHerButt

        In all fairness, I spent the first half of that looking at the pictures. That Asian woman has eyes that can penetrate deep into a man’s soul.

        10 years ago at 6:40 pm
      2. FUBAR1776

        This is true. I looked that Asian women in the eyes and saw my true self. That guy is a dick.

        10 years ago at 7:30 am
    2. Mr.Belfort

      In honor of Metta’s new name, I’m changing my name to Orange Chicken or Bejing Beef.

      10 years ago at 5:58 pm