Michael Phelps’ Ex-Girlfriend Who Used To Have A Big Ol’ Dong Goes Nuts On Him In Facebook Post
9 years ago

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Michael Phelps is having one hell of a great week. His number of gold medals has gone up to 21, further cementing his status as the greatest Olympian of all time, and he got some sweet, sweet revenge on his bitter rival, South African swimmer Chad le Clos, in an epic movie-like moment. The man is a real life superhero.

But not everyone is happy with Mike, as is evidenced by an ex-girlfriend who just from 0 to 100 on her Facebook page. Taylor Lianne Chandler (she was the one who was born with a penis) recently ranted on social media about Michael’s shenanigans, saying that she’s not a fan of the man and that his superstardom has negatively affected her mental health.

The fame hungry, angry woman posted an insanely long, melodramatic attack on the swimmer that has TL;DR written all over it. The thing is practically a novel with name drops galore. Here’s the whole thing in all its glory:

That’s how the rant begins. In case you don’t click “see more,” it goes on to drop more names, throw out more accusations of womanizing and infidelity, and mentions a DUI that Phelps got a couple years ago. Taylor has seemingly tried to gain a lot of public traction for her relationship with the athlete. She even starred in a porno based off of her relationship with him (seriously) and won an AVA Award for it (they’re like the Oscars for dick flicks).

In my personal opinion, if Phelps hurt her, she has every right to be upset — but she should handle it privately. Posting paragraphs about it on Facebook feels immature and unnecessary. I don’t wanna jump to conclusions and say she’s desperately clinging to her loose association with him in an attempt to ride her way to the fame train, but come on, man.

Either way, I don’t care about Michael Phelps’ personal life. The dude is one of the greatest athletes our generation will ever witness. No Facebook post can change that.

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Image via YouTube

  3. Peter Griffin

    No comments on the blowfish article tells me that you are completely serious about that it probably doesn’t work. Im going to stick to the tried and true method of 2 Advil, a Gatorade, and suffering through as atonement for my actions the night before.

    9 years ago at 4:56 pm
    1. FBA

      I’ve never gotten a hangover with my method.

      Step one, chug 2/3 small bottles of water at about 5pm

      Step two, drink a medium sized bottle of Powerade

      Optional step 3, back it up with pedialyte packets in water throughout the night.

      Keep your electrolytes and hydration high, drinking is like a sport and preparation is the key.

      9 years ago at 5:01 pm
      1. Peter Griffin

        Fuck that. I’m a fifth year and I’m not putting that much work into getting drunk.

        9 years ago at 5:03 pm
    3. Gun_Slinger

      Apparently pedialite does work well. For some reason Dorn’s place is always well stocked with it.

      9 years ago at 11:04 am
  4. FratinaHat

    Wally your opinion doesn’t matter. And Blowfish is just caffeine and an Advil mixed so good luck with that

    9 years ago at 5:01 pm
  5. Clownindetox

    I don’t need your blowdick hangover helper; heavy breathing and angry masturbation followed by self loathing has done the trick for years.

    9 years ago at 5:13 pm
  6. Beer Jacket

    “His superstardom has negatively affected her mental health”

    God fuck liberal pussies and get over it.

    9 years ago at 5:14 pm
    1. SteveHoltOnDrugs

      “Your fratstardom negatively affecting your old girlfriend’s mental health. TFM.” – the wall

      9 years ago at 5:49 am