Missouri State Fraternities Face Classic “Should We Recruit Or Should We Drink?” Conundrum Regarding Next Week’s Tailgate

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Missouri State University fraternities face quite the dilemma at next week’s season-opening tailgate. With the first football game coming in the midst of the school’s official rush week, IFC organizations will be left to decide to forgo either a crucial day of recruiting, locking down potentials and continuing to grow their chapters, or vital mind-numbing alcohol to help them forget that they’re about to watch a team that went 1-10 last season.

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With only five home games this season, MSU students need to cherish every precious second of tailgate they can. You’re clearly not giving up an entire game day to sobriety. That’s downright insane and you’d deserve to have all your charters pulled if any of you followed through with this terroristic demand. Thankfully, I think I have a solution that everyone can get behind.

Everyone on Greek Row makes a gentleman’s agreement to halt rush during tailgate hours. Stuff your rushees into closets, power move them into being sober drivers before even getting bids, or just keep them fifty feet away under a separate tent. I don’t care what you do to these kids, just ignore their existence for a few hours while you all get liquored up.

And respect the gentleman’s agreement, guys. I don’t want anyone swooping in or vulturing any prospects under this World War I Christmas-esque truce. Just drink and enjoy the much needed break from pointless conversations with 18-year-olds for a few hours.

Image via Youtube

      1. The User Formerly Known as Frabst

        I’m sitting on the shitter at a bar in Chapel Hill with nothing to read. Thanks assholes.

        8 years ago at 9:28 pm
      2. FratinaHat

        Yah when I’m already seeing double, it helps to get you back focused to what matters

        8 years ago at 9:35 pm
      3. The User Formerly Known as Frabst

        You talking to me motherfucker? I’ll drop your ass in a heartbeat.

        8 years ago at 12:31 am
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      8 years ago at 1:08 pm
  1. InHoc04

    Before today, I did not know there was such a thing as Missouri State. Thanks TFM!

    8 years ago at 3:21 pm
    1. CalamariTuesday

      One could safely assume there’s a “state” school in every state

      8 years ago at 3:42 pm
      1. Youngmellow

        Unofficially Rutgers. Officially by name, embarrassingly, Montclair state university.

        8 years ago at 4:20 pm
      1. Grenade_Diving_Wingman

        It won’t be America much longer if we give in to terroristic threats like these

        8 years ago at 8:35 pm
  2. thevaginator

    This is a bigger deliemma than Dan choosing what to devour first at the Golden Corral dessert bar.

    8 years ago at 3:42 pm
  3. poellermann

    I think we should all take a moment to be thankful that intern smegma is gone
    There might not be fail Friday but at least we have half a glass today

    8 years ago at 12:39 am
  4. GeorgeH31

    Can we just talk about the fact that you guys manage to fuck up the easiest things everything gets submitted to you guys have all the shit so figure it the fuck out TFM you pieces of shit

    8 years ago at 8:44 am
  5. JustForTheStory

    I was going to complain about this guy’s inability to screenshot the email, but then I realized he goes to Mississippi State – it’s unfair to criticize “special” people.

    8 years ago at 4:42 pm