Movie Fraternities Vs. Real Fraternities


Throughout your college experience you have no doubt noticed countless representations of so called “Greek Life” on TV and in the movies. Some of these representations, such as “Old School,” are incredibly entertaining. Others, such as the vaginally inclined “Greek,” are about as accurate as a Disney Channel sitcom set in Darfur. Regardless, these representations all have one common theme. They don’t come close to what being in a fraternity is really like. I’ve done some major research (by that I mean I read Wikipedia and IMDB) and came up with a few of the more common (and obnoxious) misrepresentations.

Easy Pledging

For some reason the most legendary part of the fraternity process is completely underplayed in most movies and TV shows. Pledging becomes less about the mental and physical anguish, and more about the hilariously awkward situations. Sure it makes for better TV, but it also convinces every overconfident high school prick watching that they’re going to walk into the fraternity house doors to the actives chanting their name. At least those dickholes are the most fun to haze.

Pledging is a lot harder, and in retrospect actually a lot funnier than many films can convey. A couple of pledges stealing a monkey and letting it loose during a banquet at the Dean’s house is kind of funny, sure, although at this point it’s a little cliché. But you can’t beat the awkward hilarity of walking into the school health center with 30 pledge brothers and throwing all the free condoms into pillow cases just because the pledge trainer was drunk and needed a condom. There’s no such thing as overkill when following the pledge trainer’s orders.

The length of the pledgeships in these shows and movies are equally ridiculous. Fuck in “Old School” pledging was only 21 days. Can you imagine? Most of us were praying for only ten weeks. Not even Frank the Tank could crush someone’s soul in a mere 21 days.

Extremely Slutty Girls

Much to my dismay, fraternity parties are not typically populated by Victoria’s Secret models in lingerie making out with each other while the brothers cheer with amazement, whipped cream bottles in hand. As nice as it would be to populate every party I’m at with high priced call girls (see also: desperate actresses), in the real world, sororities have a little she-devil known as the “Standards Chair.”

Real life sorority girls can still be slutty, as we all know too well, but the institution forces her to be a little more subtle with it. No more subtle than a quick trip to the fire closet would require anyway. But at least there’s still an iota of class involved damnit! The movie versions of sorority girls are either A) epic attention seeking sluts or B) the hot girl who is actually really smart because she reads obscure French literature and just wants a nice guy to have a meaningful relationship with. Do these girls really coexist in the same house? What is this chapter like? “Um I don’t want to be a buzzkill but the Omegas REALLY lost respect for us when Krystal started giving those orphans lapdances at their philanthropy.”

We Are All Retarded

So maybe the typical media view of the “frat boy” has a few things right. Yes, we binge drink to the point of catastrophic liver failure on a regular basis. Yes, we are extremely lax in our sexual attitudes. And, sure, we might snort a thing or two that has no business being in our nose. But I’m sorry Hollywood, we are not the idiots you make us out to be.

Fraternities consist of some of the smartest, most success driven men on campus, and to portray us as constant worthless “Van Wilder” alcoholics in every production is simply incorrect. I understand why you do it? It makes for easy jokes. Hollywood is after all the institution that gave us three Transformers movies and the future eyeball abortion known as The Three Stooges remake. But guess what? We absolutely control our individual campuses, from Student Government to Alumni Relations: we control it all. We run shit, and no matter how careless we are made to look on the silver screen we will continue to do so.

    1. Potty Putter

      Sounds like someone is upset he didn’t get a bid. Have fun being bottom-tier. In Hoc.

      13 years ago at 6:10 pm
    2. The_Light

      Its funny how many attempts I see at people trying to talk shit about Sigma Chi yet they end up looking pathetic.

      13 years ago at 7:01 pm
    3. It’s like africans making fun of the US, yea fuck you with all of your food, no diseases, and lack of lions to eat people!

      13 years ago at 7:03 pm
    4. TomFratMoore

      well, sigma chi at my school did get kicked off campus for having a stripper shove a dildo up a pledge’s ass, so if u guys do enjoy big black dildos…

      13 years ago at 8:41 pm
    5. Potty Putter

      I laughed at the Nebraska…I would rather pledge Sigma Chi and take a dildo, then be part of Sajak’s “frat” and take real black penis in the ass.

      13 years ago at 1:27 am
    6. ArcticBrocean

      nothing says “brotherhood” like taking the same STD ridden giant dildo to the ass as every man who pledged before you… This is shown by all of the “I have smelly vagina” (IHSV) comments below.

      13 years ago at 11:55 pm
    7. Pandaman

      Real frat bros have confidence and don’t feel the need to organize defensive brotherhood circle-jerks on a website.

      13 years ago at 1:02 am
    1. thefratasticmrfox

      “Woodhouse if I find one single dog hair here, I’ll rub….sand… your dead little eyes. I also need you to buy sand.” TFM

      13 years ago at 9:30 am
  1. Anakin Fratwalker

    I’d say Animal House is the only movie that has ever really gotten it right. And even then real Fraternity life lies somewhere in between the Delta house and the Omega house.

    13 years ago at 5:43 pm
    1. FaFTexas

      “gotten it right”? What the fuck? You have down syndrome and I fucking hate you. Other than that, I agree with your statement.

      13 years ago at 6:35 pm
  2. Nitro Hazelton


    13 years ago at 5:50 pm
    1. Bronan the Barbarian

      Nitro Hazelton seems to think caps lock is cruise control for awesome.

      13 years ago at 1:08 am
  3. 36 25 34

    “Brotherhood,” while all the actors look like GDI tools, more accurately portrays some of the harsher realities of pledgeship…

    13 years ago at 5:54 pm
    1. The Frat Czar

      You mean that shitty movie where they make the pledges go rob a gas station AND THINGS GO HORRIBLY WRONG? Fuck off.

      13 years ago at 6:18 pm
    2. thefratasticmrfox

      That movie was the most inaccurate representation of pledging I have ever seen. No one in their right mind would give a gun to a pledge even if it is a set up. And no one locks someone in a trunk and tells them they have to finish 3 handles of liquor. Even the biggest alcoholic in every fraternity would never drink that much.

      13 years ago at 9:32 am
    3. better_than_you

      The reason all these “Greek Life” shows or movies or whatever the fuck they’re called are popular is so geeds can try and geet a glempse of what they think is an accuate depiction of the lives of debotchery we live.

      13 years ago at 11:16 pm
  4. NotAGDI

    Maybe it’s just where I go to school, but we have had slutty girls making out/taking off their clothes at multiple parties..

    13 years ago at 5:58 pm
    1. BROjaysimpson1

      ^^^Oh MAN you’re so FAF cause your girls make out with each other. I’d prefer being the one taking her back to my place and doing that to her

      13 years ago at 6:28 pm
    2. In Broc

      ^You have fun making out with them … I’m going to pound town while you go and play your middle school spin the bottle shit

      13 years ago at 7:37 pm
    3. BROjaysimpson1

      ^hahaha good one dude, I didn’t realize I said I’d just be making out. You, sir, win

      13 years ago at 8:54 pm
  5. Mad Fratter

    Thanks for writing an article on a topic that anyone on this website with half a brain have already figured out for themselves.

    13 years ago at 5:59 pm
    1. brother sigma

      The problem is that there are many viewers of this website who are not greek, or are still in high school, and I am guessing this article was more written for their viewership. But you are write, if you learned anything from this article you don’t really deserve to call yourself greek.

      13 years ago at 6:35 pm
    2. Frat Blue Ribbon

      What should he write an article about Mad Fratter? Please give suggestions instead of just bitching

      13 years ago at 10:31 pm
    3. Alcohology

      ^^^ Actually, in America that would be a grammatical error. Southernlife had it right.

      13 years ago at 2:10 pm
    4. 12th Generation

      Hey Canada, what are you talking aboot? Go back to America’s hat and get ready to start filling our soon to be pipeline with sand fuels.

      13 years ago at 4:43 pm