natty rush

Natty Rush Is The Drink You Never Knew You Needed In Your Life

natty rush

Christmas is coming early this year, as Santa will be bringing gifts for every college student across the country in October. According to OnMilwaukee, that’s when Anheuser-Busch InBev is introducing a new flavored malt beverage (FMB) that’s poised to change the game forever.

If you’ve ever struggled to fall asleep wondering why there isn’t a drink with the refreshingly smooth taste of Natty and the unhinged insanity of Four Loko, look no further. Introducing Natty Rush.

From OnMilwaukee:

As long as we have colleges, we will have college kids. With that in mind, and especially given the younger-demographic popularity of Four Loko, AB-InBev plans to release this fall a new, high-gravity, flavored malt beverage (FMB) called Natty Rush. The product – part of the Natural brand family and available in 8 or 12 percent alcohol by volume – will be positioned as to compete with MillerCoors’ existing Steel Reserve Alloy Series. Frat stars, rejoice!

We’re rejoicing, but not because you told us to, buddy.

Natty Rush will begin selling to retailers at a pretty auspicious date: October 29th, which is only two days before Halloween. We can only pray that retailers can put enough on the shelves before the big holiday. I personally will be physically unable to go to parties in my Big Baller Brand costume without some of that canned jet fuel pumping through my veins.

Anheuser-Busch is taking a direct shot at brands like Four Loko with Natty Rush, and I think they will be successful. Natty Rush has two things that 4Loko will never have: the trusted, sterling reputation of the smooth pilsner with all-natural ingredients, and some ridiculous flavor names. Nothing says waking up with a live sheep or seven in your room like “Hurricane Punch.” The only name that could possibly be better is “Grape Smash,” because nothing says “I’m ready to forget how to function like a normal human being” like pounding a Grape Smash or three and heading to the bar.

I applaud the makers of Natty Rush and Natty Rush+ (the 12% version) for filling a hole in the FMB market I never knew existed. You best believe I’m buying a case of Hurricane Punch come Halloween time.

[via OnMilwaukee]

Image via Anheuser-Busch InBev

  1. jizzrag69

    You children enjoy your Hawaiian Punch flavored beer. I’ll be sipping some 30 year old Scotch while banging a 30 year old milf. In the ass.

    7 years ago at 12:14 pm
    1. redisright

      I think you’re missing the point – I don’t think anyone will “enjoy” Natty Rush but rather use it to serve the specific purpose of getting litter than God. Lotta try in this comment..

      7 years ago at 2:25 pm
  2. THEosuNattyBoh

    I’m unimpressed unless they somehow made it around the no caffeine or stimulants laws that killed four loko. Until then I’ll just keep making my own four loko classics at home

    7 years ago at 4:17 pm