Nick Saban Admits To Being A Ruthless Grandfather, No One Is Surprised


Today is Nick Saban Day at the SEC Media Days (I believe that’s the official title in the program), and naturally the Prince Of Darkness is answering all manner of questions about Alabama being favored to win the SEC, as well as about his most crushing loss since handing over a golden fiddle to a boy named Johnny somewhere in Georgia. Saban, however, also discussed lighter topics, such as what it was like being a grandfather. Naturally, a crying child was involved.

“I’ve only made a few mistakes as far as being a grandfather to this point,” he said, smiling a little. “She pees and somebody runs to pick her up and I say, ‘She’ll be fine, let her cry.’ That was a mistake.’”

That explains a lot about Kristen Saban. Remember what happened when her friends wouldn’t just leave her crying on the floor?

The family also didn’t appreciate Saban leaning into the crying infant’s ear and whispering, “No one is coming to help you, so feel the pain. Embrace it. Use it. The pain is your strength. Let the hate flow through you. It makes you strong, doesn’t it?”

So there you have it, being raised by Nick Saban is sort of like being groomed by a Sith Lord, but presumably with better dialogue.

We now also know why Saban’s tenure with the Dolphins failed. His players couldn’t handle crying either.

[via For The Win]

  1. Eugenicist at Large

    I would use Kristen Saban’s tears as lubricant as she fucks away her daddy issues.

    10 years ago at 2:18 pm
    1. Frapist

      I didn’t see the last word of that, and almost reported you to the authorities…

      10 years ago at 2:23 pm
  2. DirtyJobsWithMikeBro

    I heard that Saban is fed recently-orphaned infants before each game in order to keep his dark powers working properly.

    10 years ago at 4:28 am