North Korean Defense Chief Fell Asleep Near Kim Jong-un So Obviously He Was Executed By Anti-Aircraft Gun
10 years ago

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Kim Jong-un plays for keeps. That’s very apparent at this point. Remember that time the world bought the crazy rumor about him feeding his uncle to a pack of starving dogs for making fun of his haircut or some shit? Who does that?! Not even Kim Jong-un it turns out, but it was an easy one to believe considering his track record. He did execute his uncle, by the way, just not by feeding him to dogs. He did it the humane way. He got the firing squad on his ass and lit him up in a public setting.

The latest execution orchestrated by my favorite pudgy dictator is nearly as farfetched as the aforementioned one, and since it’s been confirmed that the guy in this one is dead, I sincerely hope the story is accurate. According to Reuters, North Korean Defense Chief Hyon Yong Chol dozed off during a rally in which Kim Jong-un was present. This was apparently the final straw for Chol, as he was already on thin ice for other offenses.

He was executed publicly via an anti-aircraft gun.

North Korea executed its defense chief by putting him in front of an anti-aircraft gun at a firing range, Seoul’s National Intelligence Service told lawmakers, which would be the latest in a series of high-level purges since Kim Jong Un took charge.

Hyon Yong Chol, who headed the isolated nuclear-capable country’s military, was charged with treason, including disobeying Kim and falling asleep during an event at which North Korea’s young leader was present, according to South Korean lawmakers briefed in a closed-door meeting with the spy agency on Wednesday.

His execution was watched by hundreds of people, according to NIS intelligence shared with lawmakers.

Anti-aircraft guns are designed to take down planes at long ranges. That’s an airplane. They’re made of metal and weigh about 12 tons. Imagine what that thing would do to a frail, little North Korean senior citizen at close range.

This guy is fucking crazy and I sort of love that about him.

[via Reuters]

Image via James Francis / Shutterstock.com

  3. LouFerrigno

    Read into the North Korean death camps, this guy honestly had it lucky compared to the hundreds of thousands of North Koreans who are tortured, mutilated and killed in barbaric fashion. The tales from people who have escaped North Korea are haunting on a holocaust level. N. Korea may be a joke now, but the world has sat by idly far too long. Not in the armed forces, but I would enlist if it meant going overseas to otherthrow that sick bastard.

    10 years ago at 11:05 am
    1. cleavage

      If it ever got to that the battle would be over in a few days similar to Desert Storm. They only way North Korea would be able to hold out is if Un escaped to Russia or China. And those countries only pretend to support him to troll us. Problem is we have a government that is still seeing the effects of Iraq and Afghanistan not going smoothly and won’t do shit about it.

      10 years ago at 11:19 am
      1. LouFerrigno

        China only pretends to support them because war with North Korea means millions of starving, uneducated refugees fleeing into their already overpopulated country. Not to ‘troll’ the United States. You’re right about the second part though.

        10 years ago at 11:25 am
      2. Teddy Fucking Roosevelt

        Respectfully, it would likely not be over as quickly as Desert Storm. They have hundreds of miles of concrete bunkers and tunnels, mountains of artillery shells, and a good sized military, which doesn’t pose a ton of a threat on the field, but entrenched in these tunnel systems, they will be a bitch to clear out. Now, I’m not saying we won’t win. We will. We are much better trained and advanced. But they have over 10,000 artillery pieces trained on Seoul, the South Korean capitol. If the shooting starts, that city will be pulverized worse than Stalingrad, and hundreds of thousands if not millions of civilians will die. Rooting the commies out of the tunnels will be like Iwo Jima. It won’t be the beach massacre, but it will take forever to clear them out. This will not be a battle won in a few days. Many will die. Do not simply think that because we are so much more capable that this will be easy, or that innocents will not be hurt. We need to deal with them, yes, and save the people they are torturing and murdering, but just rolling the tanks in there isn’t going to be the five minute, everyone-walks-away-from-this solution many seem to think it will be.

        10 years ago at 11:50 am
      3. USArmy

        I agree with you, Teddy. However, one way to reduce the casualty rate is to send in several surgical strike teams from our elite operations across the branches. Their job is to ensure the buttons on the larger, more deadly weapons aren’t pushed. There will always be casualties in war because that is the nature of the beast, but there are realistic ways to reduce those numbers.

        10 years ago at 3:06 pm
  5. RedPill

    Unsupervised Boy Fell Asleep Near Jungle Gym So Obviously He Was Approached By Roger Dorn.
    (I was going to lay off boy jokes today but you used a Kanye gif, so obviously you deserve it, Dorn).

    10 years ago at 11:19 am
  8. GeedsAreRuiningAmerica

    There has to be an easy way to off Kim Jong-Un. Poison his daily wheel of cheese.

    10 years ago at 11:33 am
    1. RisingFratstarOfTX

      On that note, a defector told U.S. officials he had his aunt poisoned after she was complaining about her husband being executed. Nuttier than squirrel turds.

      10 years ago at 5:49 pm
  9. BrewsOnBrews

    Dorno let’s be real here. You don’t love him because he’s fucking crazy, you love him because he looks and acts like a 4 year old.

    10 years ago at 12:11 pm
    1. MrLahey

      I just went from reading a gameplay for invading N. Korea to another Dorn joke. Little change of pace, but i likey.

      10 years ago at 10:17 pm