Shoutout To The Drunk Kid At Ole Miss Who Was Arrested While Crying For Help From Harambe

Ole Miss beat the absolute piss out of UGA today, so you know it’s a big night in Oxford.

It’s a particularly eventful night for the Oxford police (who, as we recently covered, have an A+ Twitter game) who will be dealing with situations like this one for the rest of the night:

Delusionally crying out for Harambe’s help means that this kid has probably had a memorable afternoon — which is ironic, because he is probably not going to remember any of it tomorrow. Everyone knows your true emotions show up when you’re drunk, and this kid clearly had a special bond with our Beloved Dead Ape.

If you are reading this in Oxford and have a gorilla suit readily accessible, please go now to the Oxford police department to bail this kid out of the drunk tank. I will personally Venmo you the $250 fine.

Love that someone at Oxford PD decided this was worth tweeting out. The OPD social media manager clearly knows how to secure major RT numbers. Hell, they even hashtagged Harambe. OPD knows what it’s doing — and those officers probably thought that kid was hilarious.

If you know anything more about this situation, please email tips@totalfratmove.com ASAP. We aren’t Harambe, but we are here to help.

Image via YouTube

    1. Sultan Of Swat

      I was thinking we just harass him to the point that he Vanilla Sky’s himself off the closest building tall enough to do the job. But death by train doesn’t sound too bad.

      8 years ago at 3:05 am
  1. TaylorSwiftsPubeGroomer

    After looking at the grandex website and all of your pictures, can we get a diagram of who’s fucked who in that office

    8 years ago at 10:46 pm
    1. Jabba the PizzaHutt

      Yeah, I want to see where Intern Stanley took all those massive loads to the face, chest, stomach, and back.

      8 years ago at 7:02 am
      1. Jabba the PizzaHutt

        Come to think of it, that’s probably an impossible task on account of the sheer number of loads she’s taken there. Oh well, give it your best shot.

        8 years ago at 7:10 am