Pussy Whipped Golfer Is Skipping The Masters To See The Birth Of His First Child

Dan Regester9 years ago

European Tour pro golfer Danny Willet must have mistakenly knocked up his wife this past summer or is the biggest idiot on the planet and actually planned to have a kid around golf’s biggest weekend of the year. As of now, Danny and Nicole Willet are scheduled to pop out their little English tyke during the Masters, causing the 15th ranked golfer in the world to miss the tradition unlike any other.

From Golf Channel:

Willett, who tied for 38th last year at Augusta National, said he wouldn’t risk going to the Masters if his wife hasn’t given birth yet because Georgia is too far from his home in England to make it back in time if Nicole were to go into labor.

“You can’t get back in time. There’s plenty more Masters,” he said.

I get picking your battles with your woman, but this is fucking Augusta National. The Masters. I’d offer that newborn child up as a sacrificial lamb to the gods in order to play the Masters.

You’re in the prime of your career, my man. 28? That’s peak you. There are only so many of these majors where you’ll actually be able to put yourself in contention. Popping out another kid? You got the rest of your life to do that. What would you rather remember 50 years from now? Having the opportunity to slip on that green jacket for the first time or seeing your wife scream in merciless pain before sliding out some slimy, ugly mutant human? Only a sadistic masochist would choose the latter. Childbirth is not this beautiful, must-witness-first-hand moment that society has pegged it out to be. It’s uncomfortable and downright disgusting.

Just tell Nicole that you need to put food on the table for the little guy, win the damn thing, and name him Amen Corner Willet. She’ll understand..

[via Golf Channel]

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