Paul Ryan Is Pissed That John Boehner Used To Incessantly Rip Heaters In His New Office

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Paul Ryan has been on the job for less than a week and he’s already doling out complaints about his new gig. The guy is known to sleep in his office because he’s not willing to cough up the dough for a nice “House of Cards” style crib like the majority of his DC brethren, meaning his office in the Capitol becomes his new home while on the job. It’s kind of weird, but whatever. I can respect someone living frugally.

Ryan is facing a daunting challenge, though, as he moves his shit into the office of the previous Speaker of the House.

As a non-smoker, Ryan has a few issues with his predecessor’s habit, and he hasn’t been shy about bashing one of America’s favorite drunk activities. He doesn’t want to live in a room caked with the smell of burnt cancer sticks, but he doesn’t exactly have much of a choice, considering Capitol maintenance crews have already hung a very elegant — likely unfathomably overpriced — wooden sign above his new door.

From Yahoo:

“They have these ozone machines, apparently, that you can detoxify the environment,” Ryan said in an interview on NBC’s “Meet the Press” Sunday. “But I’m going to have to work on the carpeting in here.”

It’s quite a challenge to worry about effectively managing one aspect of the most powerful government in the world when there are remnants of Marlboros escaping from your carpets. It’s an issue of priorities, really. Russia can wait. There’s some ash under his futon that can’t be left alone for a second longer.

Now that he’s successfully taken Boehner’s job, Ryan is letting it rip on the old guy.

“I try to sit as far away from him as I can in meetings that I know are going to be stressful,” Ryan told Time magazine last year. “I just hate getting that smell in my clothes.”

What a whiner. Suck it up, dude.

[via Yahoo]

Image via Shutterstock/Christopher Halloran

  1. FrayettevilleLegend

    I don’t blame Ryan at all. I smoke and even I hate going in chain smokers houses. Al his suits are gonna smell like a bar and then you have to send your assistants to the cleaners constantly. It’s a lot of hassle. Also, I doubt he actually changed the carpet himself. All in all, stupid article.

    10 years ago at 9:36 am
  2. Ihavefirmnipples

    Fuck John Boehner and every other establishment Republican. Good riddance.

    10 years ago at 9:36 am
      1. Ihavefirmnipples

        A man who stood against defunding Obamacare and Planned Parenthood. A man who would rather kiss Obamas feet than use the power of the purse or take any legislative action within Congress to push a conservative agenda. That, my friend, is a RINO. I’ve always said if there was one single democrat in the entire House of Representatives and the Senate they would fight tooth and nail to push their agenda through the White house no matter how futile and hopeless their efforts were. Moderate Republicans like Boehner never do that. Majority or minority in the House and Senate it never matters, they simply sit on their hands and let weak sissy liberals run all over them.

        10 years ago at 5:01 pm
  3. BornProudRaisedProud1890

    Look man, if you’re not a smoker, that smell is fucking disgusting. I have no problem believing that it would hinder his ability to effectively do his job if he’s constantly distracted by a stench he can’t stand.

    10 years ago at 9:41 am
  4. Loess Hills Panther

    Ryan should probably just stop being a bitch and take up smoking like us cool kids.

    10 years ago at 10:18 am
      1. Loess Hills Panther

        I’m not really that big of a badass, but people think I am when I smoke. 😉

        10 years ago at 12:38 pm
      2. Loess Hills Panther

        Nah, I think it’s pretty clear that I’m not cool but I smoke so people think I am. I do appreciate the compliment though, a lot of cool people in CFF (Cedar Fuckin Falls) 😀

        10 years ago at 1:32 pm
  5. JohnnyTaxReturns

    I can’t smoke pretty much anywhere in this city but Boehner can smoke in Captial offices. Fuck DC laws.

    10 years ago at 10:23 am
  6. TheBromans

    Fuck you, Stogey Smells and your RINOisms. Boehner was a cock gobbler and probably went to town on your Mario mushroom.

    10 years ago at 8:42 pm