Perfect Woman Olivia Wilde Wants Independence Day Celebrations To Last A Week, Becomes Perfect-er (with Gratuitous Pics)
I have no problem telling the world that I’m madly in love with Olivia Wilde. I have been ever since she lezzed out with Mischa Barton on The O.C. I pretty much lost my mind in the movie theater when she was walking around in that tight computer person outfit in Tron:Legacy. Best sex robot ever. Was she a robot? I don’t know, and I don’t care. All I know is that a Disney movie hasn’t gotten me that horny in years. Then there was The Change Up, in which she played an Atlanta Braves fan AND got topless (though it’s rumored those sweet bewbs were CGI’d). Suffice it to say I didn’t leave my house for days, and my roommates didn’t enter my house for days.
Long story short, I would murder all your families for one night with Olivia Wilde. I felt that way before she went and said something like this…
I don't think America has spent enough time appreciating its birthday. One more week should suffice.
— olivia wilde (@oliviawilde) July 8, 2013
That’s the kind of patriotism that really gets me hot and bothered. Would there be anything more perfect than spending a week getting drunk with Olivia Wilde and celebrating America? Spending each evening drinking Budweiser Ameri-cans and blowing shit up before retiring to the bedroom and making glorious, patriotic love? No. That is heaven, and I hope to be greeted by that exact scenario when I die. There are suicide bombers who don’t get promised afterlives that awesome.
How much do I love Olivia Wilde? So much that I can even forgive her for this travesty:
Few people could make a kU hat look good to me. She is one.
[h/t Twitchy]
Nice pair of diamond cutters you got there
12 years ago at 5:46 pmI’d pee so hard
12 years ago at 5:47 pmToo bad she’s an ultra-liberal democratic activist
12 years ago at 5:48 pmIf you have enough blood still flowing to your brain to think about her political beliefs after those pictures, it’s probably good for you that people like her are pushing to legalize gay marriage.
12 years ago at 5:52 pmhonestly, if you wouldn’t give a shit about her Jayhawks beenie then wtf? does anyone really care what a woman’s has to say anyway?
12 years ago at 5:54 pmShe’s just taking these nude/semi-nude photographs for her own empowerment. It’s an artistic thing.
12 years ago at 5:54 pm^She actively works with the ACLU and makes commercials supporting obamacare.
If that doesn’t kill your boner then you might be a communist.
12 years ago at 5:56 pmI would fuck the liberal out of her
12 years ago at 5:57 pm^^ She also does activism for anti-business union organizations and moveon.org. She’s basically Michael Moore with 300 fewer pounds, and tits.
12 years ago at 6:02 pmseriously, anyone who puts politics in front of getting laid by beautiful woman is a moron. you must be either 12 years old or never got laid dude.
12 years ago at 6:05 pm^^ Michael Moore does have tits lol
12 years ago at 6:18 pmMichael Moore is a fat fuck. His tits are likely bigger than hers.
12 years ago at 7:19 pmAs relevant as relevant gets:
12 years ago at 5:56 pmhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kY8peyIaNdM
http://cdn.uproxx.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/olivia-wilde-gif-1.gif
12 years ago at 5:59 pmGod bless America.
12 years ago at 5:59 pmI don’t know if this boner is from her or the patriotism.
12 years ago at 6:01 pmI’d do incredible amounts of sex to her.
12 years ago at 6:06 pmHer farts probably smell.
12 years ago at 7:30 pmShe divorced a prince because he didn’t pee in her butt enough
12 years ago at 7:59 pm