PETA Demands Andrew “Beef” Johnston Change Nickname To This Ridiculous Name
9 years ago

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Andrew “Beef” Johnston has won over the hearts of golf fans around the world this year. Some of it due to his play, some of it due to his jolly old love for the finer things in life. After earning his first professional win in April, Johnson made a name for himself by stating he just wants to “get hammered” with his friends back home to celebrate.

His nickname gave him so much notoriety that Arby’s couldn’t help but become a sponsor. How can you not root for a guy with an Arby’s logo on his shirt playing on the PGA Tour? That’s the stuff Disney movies are made of.

PETA, being the wet blanket that they are, released a statement proposing a nicknaming change to better suit their beliefs. Because everything is about PETA, obviously.

From USA Today:

Consider adopting a kinder, healthier vegan lifestyle, which would pave the way for a new nickname: Andrew “Tofu” Johnston.”

[…]

“Your new nickname would also raise awareness of the urgent need to move towards a cruelty-free lifestyle to offset the worst effects of climate change. According to the United Nations, animal agriculture is “one of the top two or three most significant contributors to the most serious environmental problems, at every scale from local to global.

How did climate change all of a sudden get involved here? Talk about a spin zone job by PETA. Rule number one in an argument: if you don’t like what people are talking about, change the subject. Unfortunately for PETA, no one ever likes anything they are talking about.

Fortunately for the majority of society or at least the ones I choice to associate myself with, we like individuals with the nickname Beef.

Cheers to many more years of Andrew “Beef” Johnston washing down roast beef sandwiches with some cold ones.

***UPDATE***

Beef responded.

Thank God.

***END OF UPDATE***

[via USA Today]

Image via Twitter/@EuropeanTour

  4. Fraddington_bear

    If PETA really gave a shit about animals they would be seeking #JusticeForHarambe

    9 years ago at 3:27 pm
      1. MuffMcFluff

        A true dick twister, I want to ^ for harambe yet lap you for blm. TStalemateM

        9 years ago at 6:09 pm
  5. Chadwick Brice

    Damn, good thing I didn’t stop to get that McChicken on the way to the golf course. Could have caused another earthquake in Haiti!

    9 years ago at 3:32 pm
  6. maroonandgold

    Agriculture is far more detrimental to the environment than the meat industry, so I’m gonna go wolf down a porterhouse.

    9 years ago at 3:38 pm
      1. maroonandgold

        I think given the context, it was clear I was referring to farming, but eh, I’ll take the laps.

        9 years ago at 3:55 pm
      2. Hotrod

        Farming is any form of agriculture, including raising livestock. You were referring to crop farming/horticulture. (not trying to be a dick, just educate you so you are better prepared when some PETA activist starts blowing smoke at you)

        9 years ago at 5:54 pm
      3. maroonandgold

        Fair enough, but I’m not going to debate a peta activist. They don’t exactly listen to reason.

        9 years ago at 5:59 pm
  8. BudNotWeis

    I will make PETA eat my cock meat sandwich and then they’ll be sure to change their diet

    9 years ago at 5:27 pm
  9. NicetitsTHANKS

    PETA is like that one girl who no one will fuck even though she’s insanely hot. Seems like a good idea, but in reality just a crazy cunt

    9 years ago at 7:40 pm