PGA Tour Winner Skips British Open For Sister’s Wedding, Kicks U.K. While They’re Down

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On the heels of causing worldwide economic panic after leaving the European Union and with England suffering its most embarrassing defeat since losing India to a salt-slinging racist Hindu dwarf, the U.K. has become the laughingstock of the modern first-world. Royal Guards are dropping like flies at the Queen’s 90th birthday in 70 degree heat, soccer coaches are up and quitting after being slain by a guy named Ragnar, and now a PGA Tour winner is kicking this frail nation while it’s on life support and withdrawing from their “sacred” championship of golf. Last week’s Quicken Loans National winner Billy Hurley III has opted to skip something other than Rio de Janeiro’s Zikafest 2016, and will pass on the British Open in favor of his sister’s wedding.

From ESPN:

AKRON, Ohio — Billy Hurley III wouldn’t miss his sister’s wedding for anything — not even the Open Championship.

Hurley won for the first time on the PGA Tour on Sunday at the Quicken Loans National and earned a spot at Royal Troon. One problem: Saturday of the Open is the same day his sister, Megan, is getting married in Virginia.

Hurley called her Tuesday during a practice round at the Bridgestone Invitational and said he would be there. Hurley said his sister was in tears.

Have to revoke the Open Championship’s status as a major, right? Any time a journeyman golfer is declining the offer to play in your tournament, it’s clearly not that big of an event. No chance Billy skips the Masters or U.S. Open to celebrate some dude being inside his sister for the rest of her life. He’d pick something nice off the registry, maybe send a congratulatory text, and go about his business trying to make a cut. Chalk up another L for the U.K.

Side note: kind of a dick move by the sister. There’s legitimately four weekends your brother really cares about a year and you had to go fuck with his livelihood and dreams by getting married during one of them? Poor form. Either she doesn’t love you, Billy, or she’s the most inconsiderate or oblivious person in existence.

[via ESPN]

Image via Youtube

  1. Oldfrattybastard

    What a bitch….I mean, if I lost my father in a very public and tragic suicide last year there is no way in hell I would want my brother to be at my wedding or walk me down the aisle or anything. I’d totally want him to go play golf in Europe….TFM killing it today with all the research!

    10 years ago at 6:00 pm
      1. Oldfrattybastard

        Good point, let’s open it up though. You definitely want to stay away from the 4 majors, The Players and Tour Championship. You also want to eliminate college football season all together. Christmas weddings are NF too. NFL playoffs take us into February. March madness is going to cancel out a couple weekends there. You might find an open date or two in April (sans aforementioned Masters week) Kentucky Derby is first weekend in May, after that the schedule opens up a little….moral of the story, go to Vegas, get married in one of those drive thru’s and I’ll like your pics on social media and not worry about spending the better part of my entry level salary going to all these damn weddings…have these dudes are marrying people we don’t like anyway. These assholes better get my candlesticks in the divorce too….what were we talking about again?

        10 years ago at 6:29 pm
  2. Only4.99

    Considering he wasn’t ranked in the top 600 before last weekend his sister probably had no faith that he would qualify for the Open.

    10 years ago at 6:19 pm
    1. TheHazeologist

      Continuing the bender while participating in a world class tournament….now that would of been a power move

      10 years ago at 11:00 pm
  3. NMATO

    I’d miss my sisters wedding for a lot more things that aren’t even close to the Open Championship.

    10 years ago at 6:46 pm