Pinterest: A Guy’s Hate Filled Perspective

If you don’t know what Pinterest is by now then you should make it your life’s mission to never find out. Unfortunately I wasn’t that lucky. My new job as a social media intern has forced me to open my eyes to the house of social media horrors that is Pinterest. For the most part social media is great. It allows us to take the irrelevant shit we look at on the internet, our feelings that no one cares about, and mildly witty things that would otherwise be lost, and share them with our friends. Pinterest, however, has taken it a step too far.

Pinterest is essentially the online bastard child of a sorority girls scrapbook, a poetry club, and a wedding registry. Based on the kind of people that use Pinterest, what else could you really expect? The only people with Pinterest accounts are sorostitutes, those of questionable sexual orientation, and interns (yours truly) forced to participate in the pastel electronic soup of estrogen. It’s what I imagine Stumble Upon would be like if you selected only the topics you aren’t interested in.

Unfortunately, I log on everyday and much to my dismay the images never seem to change. Wedding dress, puppy, and low fat nachos recipes. Side note: if you like nachos SO much that you can’t stand to live without them, even while trying to lose weight, you have absolutely no hope of losing weight. Pinterest also has shoes… and shoes… and more fucking shoes. Then there are the inspirational quotes and God knows what else. To hell with waterboarding, force any straight man to look at Pinterest for an hour and his secrets will be flowing like wine after dark at Altar Boy Camp. There might be some legitimate uses for Pinterest, doubtful, but there’s probably a diet cupcake bakery/bridal shop out there making a killing.

Despite the obvious problem I have with Pinterest’s content, I also have an additional qualm. Unlike Twitter, where you can choose who you follow, Pinterest forces you to sign up via Facebook and then auto-follows every single person you know with a Pinterest account. For me that equates to 300 sorority girls and the three people from high school I just found out were gay. I literally can’t avoid all this crap I don’t want to see. Every time I log on to promote something for the company a small piece of my soul dies. I can’t count the number of girls who have said “So I see you’re following me on Pinterest.” I imagine they think I’m either batting for the other team or taking stalking to new, unthinkable levels. “That’s sooo creepy, can you please just sit outside my window like a normal pervert?” If any of them said that, they’d be right, even stalking is not an acceptable reason to use Pinterest.

In a rare effort to be impartial in my evaluation, I concluded that there is one positive side to Pinterest. It works as a buffer to the rest of the Internet. Without this virtual corkboard that validates every sexist “joke” made on this website, I imagine this shit would just end up on Facebook for the rest of us deal with. Nonetheless, there does not need to be an entire site depicting the collective daily thought stream of Pan Hellenic.

No offense to the ladies on this one. The site is literally PERFECT for you. Obviously the fact that I only have an account because it’s a job requirement means I’m probably not in Pinterest’s target audience. A site like Pinterest was not made for those of us with a Y chromosome. And because of that, I hate it. So Goddamn much.

    1. phigamsecrets

      I’m a little confused on the opening point. If this column is about something that I should have a life mission of avoidance to, are you therefore suggesting I do not read your shit? I played it safe and ceased reading there. I hope you get fired. Bitch.

      12 years ago at 3:00 pm
  1. grandfrat

    “My new job as a social media intern” What degree would someone work diligently at pursuing to obtain such an esteemed position?

    12 years ago at 11:49 am
  2. Alpha_Slam

    You can un-follow people. You don’t HAVE to see all of their annoying stuff if you don’t want

    12 years ago at 12:05 pm
    1. fratanomics

      I doubt he wants to spend any time actually configuring Pinterest. He is probably going to shut his account down as soon as humanly possible.

      12 years ago at 12:13 pm
    2. hollygail

      If you’re a social media intern, I would really think you would be able to figure out how to use social media. I wasn’t forced to follow everyone I knew on Pinterest…

      12 years ago at 5:20 pm
  3. RecoveringGDI

    Considering a Pinterest page. Topics: guns, knives, flashlights, watches, camping/drinking spots, bangtails, all things gentleman…

    12 years ago at 12:14 pm
    1. Dennis Reynolds

      ^you don’t mess with a man’s rituals. you don’t mess with the things that get him through the day.

      12 years ago at 1:36 pm
    2. ThinkThereforeFRAT

      I say GOPHER IT!

      You forgot sharks, porn favorites, girls you know that you’d like to bang with links to their Facebook, bourbons, beers, other alcohols, alcohol related games and techniques, party ideas, sailboats, wiener rockets, favorite movies, worthy frathounds, future houses pin wheels, deep fried foods, german flora and fauna, favorite drunken quotes, RANDOM!!!, Drawings on Windows Paint, cool churches, frat fashion, sharks, snails, Random Snails, favorite memes, and sharks.

      12 years ago at 3:24 pm
  4. Tea Party Rage

    I see the wall got better this morning, but still don’t see any form of a “Frat Move” in this column.

    12 years ago at 12:20 pm
  5. purple_and_red

    The worst part about having a Pinterest account is telling your dad you’re gay.

    12 years ago at 12:54 pm
    1. Fratrick Forrester

      was that hard for you?

      It was probably like the first time you told your dad you had sex. Your dad says “sit down son, tell me about it” and you say “I cant right now dad, my butt is still sore!”

      haha

      12 years ago at 1:16 pm
  6. SouthernRage

    Pinterest is the reason I get desserts made for me all the time. So I’d like to politely disagree with the overall message this column relays.

    12 years ago at 2:05 pm
    1. ThinkThereforeFRAT

      The message is that it’s perfect for the ladies even though it does perpetuate stereotypes, then some shit about his own account and insecure masculinity.

      So your rewards do coincide with his point.

      12 years ago at 3:15 pm