POLL: How Many Justin Bieber Clones Could You Take On At Once?
Imagine a scenario where you got to bare-knuckle fight Justin Bieber with no strings attached. He can’t press charges. He’s not carrying any weapons. No one is there to break it up. No repercussions whatsoever. Just you, The Biebs, and both of your fists. Sounds awesome, right? You could take him down, couldn’t you? How badly though?
Now, imagine fighting two Biebers. Could you still win? How about three? Or five? Imagine if there were 25 Biebers. Could you still win the brawl? It’s like a gang fight, but you’re the only one in your gang. That’s the shitty part. The awesome part is the other gang is just full of a bunch of Justin Biebers. Would you still win the fight? Just barely, or comfortably? What’s the maximum number of Biebs you could you take on at once and still come out victorious?
The Bieber Profile:
Age: 19
Height: 5’7″ per IMDB (probably a generous measurement)
Weight: approximately 115 lbs.
Country of origin: Canada
Occupation: Douchebag/Musician
Best known for: “Baby Baby Baby” and being a douchebag
Hobbies: Playing guitar, singing, dating hot Latina girls, sagging his pants, driving fast through neighborhoods, spitting on people, taking his shirt off, lifting light weights, making this face, doing the backwards piece sign, hanging out with douchebags, being a douchebag, looking like a lesbian, being from Canada, getting stupid tattoos, wearing earrings, hanging out with guys that weigh under 120 lbs., pissing in mop buckets in bars, cussing out pictures of former U.S. presidents, dressing like an asshole, and just generally acting like an asshole
Fighting technique: unknown, but presumably flailing his tiny fists while retreating, also probably kicks
POLL QUESTION:
[poll id=4]
I would go Neo v.s. Agent Smith on as many justin bieber as you could create
11 years ago at 1:08 pmDamn beat me to it.
11 years ago at 2:22 pmZero. I don’t hit girls.
11 years ago at 1:08 pm^ Beat me to it.
11 years ago at 1:12 pmI could make an exception here.
11 years ago at 1:37 pmAn exception I could make here.
11 years ago at 2:03 pmHere could I make an exception.
11 years ago at 2:09 pmCould I make an exception here?
11 years ago at 2:20 pmMake an exception here, I could.
11 years ago at 2:35 pmAn exception here could make I.
11 years ago at 2:47 pmHere, an exception I could make.
11 years ago at 2:56 pmMake here and exception, I could.
11 years ago at 2:56 pmSomething was done.
11 years ago at 3:24 pmDone was something
11 years ago at 3:58 pmWas something done?
11 years ago at 4:58 pmFuck
11 years ago at 5:33 pmDone, something was.
11 years ago at 7:35 pmkcuf
11 years ago at 11:58 amI’d cunt punt all of them
11 years ago at 1:09 pmpunt all of them, I’d cunt
11 years ago at 7:52 pmcunt, all of them i would punt
11 years ago at 12:21 amwould I punt all of them, cunt?
11 years ago at 3:39 pmHe’s actually only 115 pounds?
11 years ago at 1:10 pm“Just 1 (2%, 0 Votes)”
You may have to run this one by your numbers guy again.
11 years ago at 1:11 pmI blame it on the tech guy.
11 years ago at 1:16 amHow intoxicated would you be during said fight?
11 years ago at 1:12 pmSomewhere between SEC Gameday Drunk and St. Paddy’s Day Drunk
11 years ago at 1:22 pm^Why the hell would you use St Paddy’s Day and not 4th of July
11 years ago at 1:41 pm^St. Paddy’s Day drunk is more belligerent than the 4th.
11 years ago at 1:57 pm^ I actually don’t like to get super fucked up on the 4th of July. Don’t get me wrong i get drunk…but not “Fight a bunch of clones of justin bieber” drunk.
11 years ago at 1:57 pmWell I usually get a little more drunk for 4th of July. I guess it just depends on the holiday. Cinco de Mayo is a perfect example because tequila absolutely destroys you.
11 years ago at 5:57 pmDorn wants to get triple teamed by Beiber clones. Not my cup of tea but to each his own or three I guess in Dorn’s case
11 years ago at 1:13 pmHere’s a poll:
How many Dorn articles can you read before gouging your eyes out?
11 years ago at 1:14 pm4
11 years ago at 1:32 pm^ He’s right, you can’t argue with science.
11 years ago at 7:44 pmRealistically, I could probably fight 5 at once. But, if I were blackout drunk and was wielding a paddle, I think that number would rise to 10 because alcohol tends to bring out my Mel Gibson in The Patriot side. I believe that I would try to recreate the hatchet scene in the woods from that movie, but instead of using a hatchet, I would use my lucky paddle, and instead of fighting redcoats, I would be fighting 10 justin biebers. Anyway, that’s how I imagine it playing out. Back to work.
11 years ago at 1:24 pmBut you gotta take into account they’re gonna lose morale with every paddle-busted skull. I think I’d be in the range of 18-20 with the paddle and liquored up, I mean 5’6 115? Wouldn’t be that hard to get your range and start swingin. And if he’s wearin those “bag with tights on the bottom” pants he wouldn’t move real quick.
11 years ago at 3:34 pmDidnt they say 20 redcoats were killed during that attack in the woods?
11 years ago at 12:26 amYa ill be that guy, but how many people wouldn’t trade places with this kid in a heartbeat? Sure he wears earrings and acts like a douche. The guy pulls. More than any of us, you can’t deny it. Dated Mila Kunis, and they broke up due to him slamming 15 victoria secret models. Not saying I’m pro biebs in anyway, but I am saying he prolly bangs more than ruger dern masturbates.
11 years ago at 1:25 pmNot only is none of that info true, but also you’re retarded. The only thing any person envies about him is his money. I could give a shit about the fame, because if I had his bank account I guarantee I would out-pull him.
11 years ago at 1:46 pm