Porn Site Offers Ken Bone $100,000 To Star In Webcam Sex Show
National treasure and sweater connoisseur Ken Bone just got the offer we all dream of every night before we fall asleep with Kleenex in hand.
Following his meteoric rise to stardom at the second 2016 presidential debate, a porn website has offered our guy Ken six figures to star in a live webcam show.
From Daily Dot:
The livestreaming porn site CamSoda has claimed it would pay Bone $100,000 for an hourlong broadcast in which the somehow-still-undecided voter would have significant creative control.
“While Donald and Hillary continued to bicker, we were especially distraught that your question didn’t receive the appropriate attention it deserved,” wrote CamSoda president Daron Lundeen in a press release/open invitation to Bone, the New York Post and others reported. “The show can cater to your specificities but we were thinking you could take us all to the Bone Zone and tell/show us what you’re all about.
Considering the fact that the Ruggish Thuggish Bone is likely already drowning in poon, the only real incentive here is that sweet cash and some more screen time. $100,000 can go a long way in a man’s quest for environmentally friendly energy, and giving yourself a sexy public forum to discuss it is ammo for the cause. Getting a chance to knock boots with some hot strange is just gravy.
I’d like to think that our guy would opt out of legalized prostitution, but the offer is just too strong. If Kim Kardashian can get loaded off a little on-camera nookie, just imagine what a morally strong person like the Bone Collector could accomplish. That torrid jump to the front (or back, am I right fellas?) would only serve to cement his status as a true pop culture pioneer. With a moniker like Bone, there aren’t many better ways to get famous. You’re playing with a stacked deck of a name, my man. Throw a catchy title like “Weekend at Boney’s” or “The Bone Man Cummeth” on there and you’re looking at millions of views.
This country needs Ken Bone. More importantly, it needs the Ken Bone sex tape. It’s a sign that anyone with a purpose and some great timing can achieve the American Dream. Do it for schmucks like us, Ken. We’ll be cheering you on with one hand and a heart full of hope..
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[via Daily Dot]
Image via YouTube
Do it
8 years ago at 10:15 amWhat a surprise. Karlson with the only article to catch my attention. Take the money and mount.
8 years ago at 10:16 amFuck Grandex. That is all.
8 years ago at 10:20 amClassic Karl, encouraging fat guys to do porn so his favorite category has more material.
8 years ago at 10:20 amHe’s on to me.
8 years ago at 10:43 amBet he gives one hell of a mustache ride with that cookie duster
8 years ago at 10:26 amNever heard that euphemism for a womb broom before.
8 years ago at 1:35 pmOne could also refer to his nose as “The Clit Commander” if they felt so inclined.
8 years ago at 2:04 pmFat guy in sweater gets $100k to bang, another fat guy in rowdy gentleman gets canned out of nowhere.
8 years ago at 10:32 amRelease a press document or article, I don’t want to listen to your god damn podcast. If this is another bonehead marketing move to get us to listen to your podcast, so help me god.
8 years ago at 10:35 amIt was. 30 seconds talking about going in a new direction. An hour plus of dudes pretending to be way cooler than they actually are.
8 years ago at 4:27 pm10/10 would watch
8 years ago at 11:06 amBecoming a legend despite not actually having any talents TFM
8 years ago at 11:16 am6 figures for a sex tape? Try 7. I know my worth
8 years ago at 11:31 amBecause you ken bone, amirite?
8 years ago at 11:45 am“Wrong”
8 years ago at 4:29 pmEh, fuck it.
8 years ago at 7:17 pmMaybe next time champ
8 years ago at 7:44 pm