Pornhub Engineers Lifelike “TwerkingButt” Masturbation Device
Getting laid is hard after you graduate from college. You usually have to take a girl out before she gives it up. Unfortunately, I have this weird OCD thing where I have to shout the name of the food I’m eating before I put it in my mouth. Makes dinner dates awkward as hell.
To worsen my situation, my makeshift sex toy – a pile of cold cuts stuffed between two sofa cushions and a photo of Topanga from “Boy Meets World” – has started to lose its appeal. Luckily, after four years of hard work, the scientists at Pornhub have built my saving grace.
The TwerkingButt is a lifelike, disembodied posterior for you to stick your dick in. It jiggles like a real booty thanks to programmable twerking patterns and Cyberskin, which is composed of “spring-like, high resiliency bonds” that make it malleable and able to return to its original form.
It also comes with virtual reality goggles that display 3D pornographic content via the TwerkingButt phone app. You can even order the revolutionary invention modeled after your favorite porn star’s ass.
I’m never leaving my room again..
[via TNW News]
Bout time we take it up a notch and embrace the 21st century. China’s bean ahead in the self-pleasure technology market for quite some time. (Slightly different purpose, but still related and still incredible. Be sure to watch vid: http://www.iflscience.com/technology/automatic-sperm-extractor-introduced-chinese-hospital)
Props to Pornhub though. However, just so everyone’s clear, I’m still a Brazzers guy till I D-I-E.
9 years ago at 9:04 pmThe Chinese sure do love their beans.
9 years ago at 10:24 pmGo outside once in a while?
9 years ago at 12:58 amInstructions perfectly clear, got my dick stuck in the butt
9 years ago at 9:37 pmThis deserves more
9 years ago at 10:13 pmYou deserve nothing
9 years ago at 3:53 amAnd the people rejoiced.
9 years ago at 9:45 pmAm I the only one who thinks this is a total and complete disgrace?
9 years ago at 10:21 pmI mean I’ll know I’ve hit rock bottom when I’m humping a slab of vibrating rubber instead of talking to real women.
9 years ago at 10:22 pmI hate this so much
9 years ago at 11:02 pmRumor has it that Dorn has already pre-ordered one of these to share with all of Grandex…or even the intern.
9 years ago at 11:50 pmWhy buy one of these when I can hook up with a DZ for free?
9 years ago at 1:16 amYou have 4 and a half hours intern. Do not douche us.
9 years ago at 6:19 amEveryone knows Topanga was a babe
9 years ago at 10:36 am