PSA: Stay The Hell Away from Bath Salts
Why are headlines about bath salts and facial consumption still popping up? The story out of Miami should have been the end of it. Hell, it was enough for me to consider never taking a bath again for fear someone might surprise me with some sex and some salts. There’s only one explanation for these reoccurring phenomena: this zombie outbreak is real and it’s imminent, and bath salt is the apparent catalyst.
Shit people, get a grip already. With knowledge in hand that some guy very recently smoked bath salts, went berserk, stripped down to his birthday suit, hunted down and subdued a helpless homeless man, and gnawed his entire face off, you’re going to go off and try the same shit? The hell is wrong with you? An unidentified woman in New York skipped the casual pregame buzz and went straight to DEFCON 1 before hitting the nightclub scene.
Police in Utica were called to a city bar Saturday night to check out a woman described as emotionally disturbed. When an officer approached her, she lunged at him and tried to bite his face. Police say she screamed that she wanted to “kill someone and eat them.”
And then this one:
Later, police were called to a home where a 20-year-old man was reported to have threatened to kill his mother and other family. Police found the man, Aubrey Vails, had ripped a door off its hinges and was punching a car in the driveway. He was charged with criminal mischief.
Bath salts were involved in both cases. At what point do we begin stocking up on water and canned foods?
Those fucking Mayans, man.
- [via Fox News]
Bathing NF
12 years ago at 1:04 pmI haven’t bathed since I was about 6. It just worked in the story.
12 years ago at 1:26 pmDorn we all know you enjoy a nice bubble bath with some candles and Marvin Gaye.
12 years ago at 1:39 pm^Who doesn’t?
12 years ago at 6:33 amIt’s how they get away with selling variations of stimulants, such as bk-MDMA being sold as EXPLOSION in Europe, only these bath salts are mostly MDPV with gives similar stimulant effects and euphoria, but because of the other fillers, and chances are other drugs that most of these people are on while intaking the bath salts.
12 years ago at 1:07 pmOh yeah?
12 years ago at 5:32 pmBath salts are for people NF enough to get real coke. Fuck you Dorn.
12 years ago at 1:11 pmScrew you, kid.
12 years ago at 1:26 pm^this
12 years ago at 1:26 pm^^
12 years ago at 3:44 pmThe problem is un-greeks are retarded.
12 years ago at 2:01 pmI may be wrong, but I do believe that we have a name for those ‘un-greeks.’
12 years ago at 2:32 pm^
12 years ago at 3:29 pmLess human?
12 years ago at 6:28 pm^ 3/5ths to be precise.
12 years ago at 8:21 pm^ha, I get it.
12 years ago at 2:16 amhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L9XkWdi45VM
12 years ago at 2:46 pmBaths are NF. Showers TFM.
12 years ago at 3:00 pmWell, If you’re alone, yeah.
12 years ago at 3:53 pmSponge baths TFTC.
12 years ago at 6:40 pmWaffle Stompers. FaF.
12 years ago at 9:47 pmCoke… Rich, white man’s drug. And that’s why I do that… and not GDI shit like weed and bath salts.
12 years ago at 5:04 pm