Quotes From The Presidents of The United States of America
14 years ago

USA! USA! USA! On this Presidents’ Day, we take a look back at some quotes from our great nation’s leaders. We will translate some, and apply others to our lives today. Some of these men may be lefties, but today we celebrate all Presidents of the United States of America, regardless of how liberal or geedy they may have been.

“A great deal of indulgence is necessary to strengthen habits of harmony and fraternity.”- Thomas Jefferson

It is imperative that you spend shit tons of money on the finer things, and live a life of excess. This will strengthen the bond of fraternity, creating harmony between you and your brothers, while showing outsiders how inferior their lifestyle is.

“Take time to deliberate; but when the time for action arrives, stop thinking and go in.”- Andrew Jackson

Take time to pick a worthy sorostitute, but don’t fuck around. Just take her to Pound Town. Don’t be a pussy.

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“The time comes upon every public man when it is best for him to keep his lips closed.”‬- Abraham Lincoln

Don Draper (https://totalfratmove.wpengine.com/255386/4) philosophy. Sometimes it’s better to stay silent.

“I experimented with marijuana a time or two, and I didn’t like it. I didn’t inhale and never tried it again.” –Bill Clinton

Deny. Deny. Deny. TFM.

“Look, when I was a kid, I inhaled frequently. That was the point.” – Barack Obama

Translation: “I hit the blunt. Hard.”

“I have often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can’t get my wife to go swimming.” – Jimmy Carter

Apparently Jimmy Carter wanted to murder his wife, but he couldn’t get her out of the kitchen and into the pool.

“I did not have sexual relations with that woman.” – Bill Clinton

Translation: “I slammed that slampiece.”

Remember: Deny. Deny. Deny. TFM.

“The three-martini lunch is the epitome of American efficiency. Where else can you get an earful, a bellyful and a snootful at the same time?” – Gerald Ford

If you aren’t downing booze at lunch, you aren’t getting shit done. For anyone wondering:

snootful |ˈsnoõtfoôl- enough alcoholic drink to make one drunk: they’re tongue-tied until they’ve had a snootful.

“Sensible and responsible women do not want to vote. The relative positions to be assumed by man and woman in the working out of our civilization were assigned long ago by a higher intelligence than ours.” – Grover Cleveland

Grover Cleveland would have loved this website.

“America is a Nation with a mission – and that mission comes from our most basic beliefs. We have no desire to dominate, no ambitions of empire. Our aim is a democratic peace – a peace founded upon the dignity and rights of every man and woman.”- W.

Translation: “We are going to take your shit. Peace out terrorists.”

“I am the right.”- W.

Self-explanatory.

“To those of you who received honors, awards and distinctions, I say well done. And to the C students, I say you, too, can be President of the United States.”- W.

W. was lying by omission. He forgot to tell the C students that they have to be FaF, and have really good family connections, in order to be President of the United States. It’s not what you know, it’s who you know. TFM.

“This is an impressive crowd: the Have’s and Have-more’s. Some people call you the elites. I call you my base.”- W.

It’s as if he was speaking directly to us. Now go to the bar and start a “USA!” chant.

  3. BigBaller23

    Where the fuck is Regan?
    “The nine most terrifying words in the English language are: ‘I’m from the government and I’m here to help.'” – Ronald Reagan

    14 years ago at 11:09 pm
  5. 321 Should Have Won

    “Republicans believe every day is 4th of July, but Democrats believe every day is April 15.”

    “We will always remember. We will always be proud. We will always be prepared, so we may always be free.”

    “it’s true hard work never killed anybody, but I figure, why take the chance?”

    Can’t forget the frattiest president of all time, Ronald Reagan

    14 years ago at 11:52 pm
  6. Saturated frat

    If we ever forget that we are One Nation Under God, then we will be a nation gone under.

    14 years ago at 6:46 am
    1. Fratrick_BroLeary

      History, I believe, furnishes no example of a priest-ridden people maintaining a free civil government. This marks the lowest grade of ignorance, of which their political as well as religious leaders will always avail themselves for their own purpose.

      14 years ago at 8:50 am
    2. shooter

      This nation was founded on Christian principles. We are by no means “priest-ridden”, but it’s safe to say that following “One Nation Under God” has done us well so far.

      14 years ago at 5:58 pm
    3. Broblesse Oblige

      That was a quotation from Thomas Jefferson, who was a founding father. Only Yankees were firmly inclined towards Christianity during the Revolution. George Washington refused to allow Christian prayer at his table, even if he did add “so help me God.”

      14 years ago at 11:25 am
    8. friendsinbroplaces

      I’m definitely for Rep. Allen West. Read up on him; he’s a total badass. When he was a Lt. Col in Iraq, his unit had strong suspicions an Iraqi policeman had information on an impending attack on an American convoy, yet refused to share it. Lt. col west took him outside and shot a pistol right next to his head (a clear violation of rules regarding enemy POW’s). The Iraqi opened up, telling everything which saved the lives of at least a couple soldiers. West was eventually forced out of the Army by the pussy-footing JAGs who would rather have allowed the attack to go forward and Americans die than violate the prick’s “rights”, even though he wasn’t physically harmed. West went on to say that if it came down to his men’s lives being on the line that he would “go through hell covered in gasoline for them.”

      FaF

      14 years ago at 1:39 am
  9. Brosheppus

    “Friends, I shall ask you to be as quiet as possible. I don’t know whether you fully understand that I have just been shot; but it takes more than that to kill a Bull Moose.”
    -President Theodore Roosevelt, after being shot in the chest prior to giving a speech; understanding that because he was not exhaling blood, the bullet had not pierced his lung, so he refused to go to the hospital until he had delivered the 90-minute speech in its entirety.

    “Death had to take him in his sleep, for if he was awake there’d have been a fight.”
    -VP Thomas Marshall, commenting on Roosevelt’s death.

    Teddy Roosevelt: Total badass. TFM.

    14 years ago at 5:45 pm
  11. divahdfg

    i like the idea but this will inevitably invite a slew of obviously intentional NF posts for the name recognition, thus resulting in a lack of exclusivity. which is, in itself NF. would be better to expose these geed-tier losers by these failed attempted at fraternity embodiment through they’re own shame.——–http://www.22moneybay.com

    9 years ago at 8:43 am