Ridiculous Tinder Pickup Lines, Part 210
Crazy things can happen when you swipe right.
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Jared (2015): The armadillo thing is interesting, but I have many other submissions that are better.
6 years ago at 5:46 amJared (2016): My commitment to providing the highest quality content prevents me from using the armadillo thing.
Jared (2017): That armadillo thing is looking better every year.
Jared (2018): Fuck It, I’d better use the armadillo thing before this whole place gets shut down.
Ha ha I’m going to put that on Facebook!
Called out!
6 years ago at 9:05 amOh, but maybe that submission wasn’t made until recently. Jared has earned my benefit of the doubt. He is a straight shooter. I’m not… I have a slight curvature.
6 years ago at 9:06 amAlright boys. My wedding is coming up. What TFMs should my groomsman and I do for the wedding
6 years ago at 11:26 amUmmm I dunno. Drink? Scare people at karaoke? I dunno I didn’t pull a lot of tfms right before mine.
6 years ago at 11:59 amEiffel Tower.
6 years ago at 5:17 pmI assume you’re marrying a dude, so maybe you, your “bride,” and your groomsmen can have a multi-man circular buttfuck.
6 years ago at 6:14 pmMultiman circular butt fuck is just called Tuesday evenings. Fuck, you’re stupid
6 years ago at 9:16 amForgetting your bride’s name when you recite your vows. TFM
6 years ago at 6:11 amReplacing one of your groomsmen with the hooker you had last night. TFM
Putting a “No Geeds” sign at the entrance to your reception and not letting your in-laws come in. TFM
Calling the minister “The Pledge Educator” and referring to marriage as “the ultimate in hazing.” TFM
Slipping your bride a roofie before you consummate your marriage. TFM
Appreciate the effort. Great classic feel to a well executed concept 10.1/10
6 years ago at 10:39 amWhen the slam piece ends up being the piece that completes you. So frat so post college.
That’s So beautiful. Alexa, play Since You Been Gone by Weird Al Yankovich
6 years ago at 6:44 pmLoggerhead
6 years ago at 3:55 pmTwo weeks in a row you post a shot from years past with the caption “2018 is wild.” Just how stupid do you think we are?
6 years ago at 12:39 pmOK half of these are fake, we all know that, and on top of that, they would never work in any other context than on social media. If they even worked then. Considering the amount of girls I’ve talked to on Tinder, compared to the amount I’ve hooked up with, probably 5% of these [so-called] “closes,” resulted in some dude actually putting the hammer in. Well, maybe that’s just me. Because I call it the hammer, probably. Guess I’m gonna have to think of something else.
6 years ago at 12:54 am