Rio’s Olympic Golf Course Is Littered With Deadly Animals
I’ve played a few hellish courses in my day. They weren’t hellish due to their difficulty. At least, they weren’t designed to be difficult. However, kicking Natty Light cans off of every tee box does mess with the mental side of a golfer’s game.
We won’t be seeing beer cans on the course in Rio, but if the golfers manage to navigate their way through the gunfire and criminals unscathed, they can expect to face off with some of South America’s most interesting (and sometimes terrifying) animals. Just another obstacle thrown into an already unprecedented olympic games.
From Houston Chronicle:
The sand traps will be the least of the golfers’ worries.
The Golf Channel recently explored the Olympic golf course in the Barra da Tijuca neighborhood of Rio, an upscale region nestled on the lakefront. While that makes for a picturesque setting, it also means the grassy slopes are a veritable Noah’s Ark of Brazilian wildlife.
Spotted so far on the links are: sloths, caimans, boa constrictors, mico monkeys, burrowing owls and 40 capybaras, the largest rodents in the world.
The 150-pound rodents are native to South America and no small obstacle.
“They chew down on the grass at night,” Mark Johnson, director of international agronomy for the PGA Tour, told The National Post. “There are about 30-40 of them inside the course perimeter, but they live here and we play golf here. We co-exist.”
A day may not go by in which I don’t bitch about the craphole, goatranch university-owned golf course that I call home, but its litter-filled fairways and cancerous water hazards are much more enticing than even the thought of encountering a boa. Absolutely not a chance in hell my Hanes would make it out of that experience without resembling a damn molten chocolate factory.
More power to those that chose to go represent our nation, but if they manage to escape with their lives, Zika-free, and not an ounce of flesh lost to whatever the hell lives just outside of those golf course boundaries, consider them true modern miracles..
[via Houston Chronicle]
Image via Golf Channel
Other than the boa which one of these pussy ass third world creatures could be considered deadly?
9 years ago at 12:33 pmWell, caiman.
9 years ago at 12:47 pmCaiman are like mini gators and tend to eat fish and rarely ever attack people.
9 years ago at 12:50 pmYeah they’re the least aggressive crocodilian species and are considerably smaller than alligators
9 years ago at 1:23 pmBoas are not deadly unless you are a newborn baby
9 years ago at 12:48 pmWhy is Dan the cover photo?
9 years ago at 12:33 pmDude, that can’t be Dan, since rodents don’t even lift, bro.
9 years ago at 12:41 pmDan slides hotdogs in and out of his double D tits to get the sensation of a titty fuck
9 years ago at 12:43 pmThe capivara has a huge set of balls
9 years ago at 12:45 pmI don’t think he does that
9 years ago at 1:10 pmI don’t apologize to WWF wrestlers
9 years ago at 1:31 pmSo, outside of a gigantic rodent, the only thing dangerous to humans is a caiman, and those are barely more dangerous than some of the gators in the southern US. Sounds like an oasis in that shithole of a city.
9 years ago at 12:40 pmThe giant rodent doesn’t even sound dangerous. In the video he said they only eat plants
9 years ago at 2:49 pmReally? I didn’t Tiger made the team this time
9 years ago at 12:48 pmKnow*. Don’t TFM and drive people.
9 years ago at 12:49 pmYou’re proudly displaying capybara testicles why?
9 years ago at 2:05 pmBig dick Rick ain’t afraid of no skeeters
9 years ago at 2:15 pmThat capivara has bigger balls than me
9 years ago at 4:40 pm