Ryan Lochte Says He Made Up Robbery Story Because He Was Still Drunk When They Asked Him About It

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Despite making the greatest apology in the history of Instagram apologies on Friday, the world was not satisfied with Ryan Lochte. Many people pointed out that the whole thing was very inconsistent. Why make up the story at all? Why not just pay the hush money and keep the heat off of you?

Good questions. According to this translation from Portuguese on Brazil’s Jornal Nacional news program done by Deadspin.com Lochte says he was drunk when he made it all up.

Lochte: I think we were still in shock but we were trying to forget everything and we were still intoxicated. Not that I’m saying that alcohol is an excuse, it isn’t, especially the actions I took. But we were very intoxicated.

Q: You were on TV the next day.

Lochte: It was hours later, so I was still intoxicated.

Well, that makes a lot more sense.

I’ve been conflicted covering this Ryan Lochte fiasco this week now that I know what actually happened. On the one hand, being a world class athlete that gets super drunk, wrecks a bunch of stuff, intimidates a foreigner, lies about it and then escapes the country before the cops can catch him is definitely a TFM. But on the other hand, as many of our commenters pointed out, positioning it so you come off as a blubbery-faced victim in the story and then abandoning your friends to take the heat for you is weak shit.

I want to applaud Lochte for explaining away his dumbass behavior by saying he was hammered, something all of us have proudly done many times before, but this just feels really insincere.

Instead of coming off like the boss that gets blitzed enough to not give a shit about lying on international television, this story reeks of a stupid freshman getting fucked over by his first experience chugging dorm room vodka.

True champions embrace their alcoholism with a shrug and a wink. Next, Lochte will come out and tearfully confess he’s going to rehab. Hard pass.

Piss poor performance Lochte. Piss poor.

[via Deadspin]

Image via YouTube

      1. DPQLS

        At least he’s not the shitstain who comments “take down the wall” every day.

        8 years ago at 2:43 pm
      2. CreightonFratStar

        With a forum for open discussion and debate being a suitable addition/alternative.

        8 years ago at 4:24 pm
  1. Fraddington_bear

    He’s a loose cannon, and an absolute moron, but he’s the drunk idiot friend that no matter how much he fucks up you can’t bring yourself to hate him.

    8 years ago at 1:54 pm
    1. sunshinebass

      i can’t speak for everyone but i can absolutely bring myself to hate a white guy who wears grills and tried to trademark the word “jeah.”

      8 years ago at 3:28 pm
    2. CantDriveDixieDown

      Sounds like a guy i went to highschool with. Name was Riggins. #texasforever

      8 years ago at 4:50 pm
  2. CrookedHalo

    He said in his interview, ‘I don’t want people to think I’m just some drunk frat guy’.
    Fuck you you green haired assclown. Cost his friend $11k to be able to get out Brazil and then said he didn’t know anything about it, wasn’t his business, and didn’t step up to offer to pay the fine. He’s a dick.

    8 years ago at 5:12 pm
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      8 years ago at 11:44 am