Ryan Lochte Was Robbed In Rio At Gunpoint And Twitter Has Fun With It
In news from Rio that should surprise nobody, Ryan Lochte and several other swimmers from Team USA were robbed at gunpoint after leaving a party last night.
From Team USA:
According to four members of the U.S. Olympic Swimming Team (Gunnar Bentz, Jack Conger, Jimmy Feigen and Ryan Lochte), they left France House early Sunday morning in a taxi headed for the Olympic Village. Their taxi was stopped by individuals posing as armed police officers who demanded the athletes’ money and other personal belongings. All four athletes are safe and cooperating with authorities.
I guess what’s really surprising about this news is that it took this long to happen. Rio is widely recognized as one of the most dangerous places on Earth, with a murder rate of 25.2 per 100,000 and an administrative corruption index of 90.4 (that’s out of 100). In this case, “cooperating with the authorities” probably just means more crooked cops will know Team USA’s location from now on. Like an All Mugger’s Bulletin.
Twitter has already stepped in with analysis and advice for Lochte:
Is it possible that in Portuguese, the phrases 'stick 'em up' and 'for the love of God, fix your hair' sound remarkably similar? #Lochte
— Josh Mankiewicz (@JoshMankiewicz) August 14, 2016
Ryan Lochte's past week
• Shut out of individual medal
• Robbed at gunpoint
• Hair turned blueBlame it on Rio.
— Dan Diamond (@ddiamond) August 14, 2016
not that Lochte deserved to get robbed but if you had to guess which swimmer got robbed he’d be your first guess, right
— Bic Danko (@DankRizzo) August 14, 2016
Harsh. It’s possible it’s the hair, Lochte.
Maybe the best advice for Team USA and other athletes is to shack up with the basketball team on their luxury cruise ship safely offshore. You guys could probably swim over there, after dealing with the green, eye-stinging fart water earlier this week. You’ll be fine. Just watch out for all the hepatitis and corpses on the way there.
Gotta love Rio. Stay safe out there, America..
[via Team USA]
Image via Instagram/@ryanlochte
Shoulda went for Phelps, woulda have hit the gold mine.
10 years ago at 3:20 pmSay what you will about Lochte but that man fucks
10 years ago at 3:22 pmYou clearly don’t
10 years ago at 3:35 pmI’d get that hair if it meant pulling a chick like his girlfriend.
https://www.instagram.com/kaylaraereid/
10 years ago at 3:42 pmTFM needs more links like that. Keep doing the lords work.
10 years ago at 5:17 pmGuys about as sharp as a spoon he probably still thinks the robbers were actual cops.
10 years ago at 4:20 pmGo Gators
10 years ago at 4:33 pmbecause he is turning green
10 years ago at 5:13 pmThey probably were actual police officers who just decided to rob them. Using disguises seems pretty advanced for your average Brazilian street rat
10 years ago at 5:13 pmStill no fail Friday?
10 years ago at 5:25 pmYou guys should make a T-shirt about this event.
10 years ago at 5:30 pmDon’t give them any ideas.
10 years ago at 9:26 am“Umm are you..like..taking our money? Derrrr.” – Lochte interviewed about robbery.
10 years ago at 6:01 pmWhat the fuck happened in the photo section. Fucking commies.
10 years ago at 7:34 pm