Sack Up, Tailgaters: There’s A National Cornhole Championship That Actually Exists
My athletic prowess has earned me dozens of trophies over the years. Little League Participation 1999. Little League Participation 2000. Little League Participation 2002 (I got snubbed in 2001 for performing a routine cup check on the coach’s son — he failed). The list goes on.
Now, there’s a new opportunity to add to the already extensive collection of bling lining the shelves of my childhood-bedroom-turned-unused-workout-space-for-my-parents: The American Cornhole Championship X. What does the ‘X’ stand for? I don’t know, but it sounds badass.
Contestants from across the nation headed to Knoxville, Tennessee last Friday for the chance to punish each other’s cornholes. The competition is hosted annually by the American Cornhole Organization (ACO).
Highlights from last year:
For those of you unfamiliar with the rules of cornhole, the concept is pretty simple.
Step 1) Drink a shit ton of beer.
Step 2) Find hot girl at tailgate to be your partner.
Step 3) Get rejected.
Step 4) Call her a lesbian.
Step 5) Partner with your boy, chuck bean bags at opponents’ cornholes.
Step 6) Pull shirt collar over your head, profess that you are “The Great Cornholio.”
Step 7) Vomit.
Step 8) Drink a shit ton of beer.
It’s the perfect opportunity to finally get some credibility for your mastery of the craft, cultivated from years of hardcore tailgating..
[via ESPN]
Image via YouTube
“The Great Cornholio” caused me to exhale swiftly through my nose
10 years ago at 12:17 pmThis would be better if the championship forced you to have a beer in hand at all times
10 years ago at 12:33 pmBet that place is just crawling with dudes I’d never want to hang out with.
10 years ago at 12:36 pmI expect to see at least 10 people playing this black out drunk.
10 years ago at 12:37 pmImmediately calling any girl who rejects you a lesbian. TFM
10 years ago at 12:37 pmI lol-ed
10 years ago at 12:39 pmGreat. Now, how about you GTFO.
10 years ago at 2:13 pmJust a wild guess: since last year’s championship was IX, maybe the X stands for 10. Meaning this “news” is ten years old.
10 years ago at 12:41 pmBacon would win this
10 years ago at 12:43 pmTom Bobo. TFM
10 years ago at 12:47 pmCorn hole is a lot like bowling. It’s not cool to be really shitty, but it’s definitely not cool to be elite either. There’s definitely a bell curve on your skill level vs. how cool you look. These guys are on the far side of the bell curve at “ruined the tailgate” skill level.
10 years ago at 12:49 pm