San Francisco Legalizes Public Urination
Bladders, rejoice!
Those of us who proudly belong to the Piss Drunk, Drunk Pisser Club have long been discriminated against for our lack of both bladder control and decency. To us, the world is not just our oyster, it is also our toilet. But no more will we be oppressed and pressured to relieve ourselves behind closed doors. The time has come to let it flow, let it flow. The stares never bothered us anyway.
Dolores Park in San Francisco has a long, glorious history of public urination. This translates to a long history of victimizing our small-bladdered brethren. Previously the park only had 3 toilets for the public to use, but this wasn’t an issue. Being a park, there are plenty of bushes that make for great spots to take aim, and being in the middle of a city, there are tons of buildings that make equally good locations. The persecution of public urinators started simply enough with an increase in the fine, if caught, up to $500 in 2002. More recently, things took a turn for the creative.
From Time:
Last summer, the city’s public works division made headlines by experimenting with coating some walls with a paint that causes fluid to splash back onto public urinators.
Testing out a new pee repellent that "pees back" to prevent public urination. pic.twitter.com/6eDJ4w9MWH
— SF Public Works (@sfpublicworks) July 23, 2015
The rebounding piss is an interesting tactic, but we’ve been catching splatter on the cuffs of our pants and shoes for ages. So what if a couple more drops find themselves a little higher up on the pants? We’re stronger than that. We’re better than that. When you gotta go, you gotta go, and you can bet your ass we are gonna go. If anything, this probably just encouraged urinators to step further away from building, putting them even further into plain sight.
Wars are not won overnight. Through grit, determination, and consistent, unwavering public urination, we have finally been vindicated. The latest and greatest addition to the park is an outdoor urinal. It features a circular fence standing roughly six feet tall and a screen above a drain to both give you something to aim at and prevent you from any passers-by being touched by your stream. The park has also added 27 more toilets, but the real victory here lies in the freedom San Franciscans have just been given.
My friends, pee at last, pee at last, go forth in public and pee at last..
[via Time]
Image via Twitter/@sfpublicworks
Given this, the first thing I would do is take a nice long piss on the Capital building in San Francisco.
10 years ago at 4:23 pmCapitol building is in Sacramento, champ.
10 years ago at 4:28 pmThe mayor’s building, champ.
10 years ago at 4:34 pmMost people who aren’t who aren’t complete idiots would call that a City Hall, buddy.
10 years ago at 4:38 pmA capital building is where they process laws right? right. so therefore it is a “Capital building”. You’re trying too hard to get simple likes on a post bud.
10 years ago at 4:44 pmWhile you make a Vala point, I have never heard anyone call the seat of a town a capitol building. I’ll side with Wisconsin here.
10 years ago at 4:47 pmvalid*
10 years ago at 4:48 pmWell, at least where I’m from that’s what a majority of people call it. it doesn’t matter anyways, I got my point across clearly, he’s just trying to be all technical and shit.
10 years ago at 4:52 pm1. It’s a capitol building, not a capital building. The capital is the city where the capitol the building is located. They probably didn’t teach you that in Missouri though.
2. Process laws? Not sure what that is exactly…
3. Finally, I don’t think any one reasonably would consider a city hall a capitol.
10 years ago at 4:57 pmStop acting like a liberal. Yes, it is capitol and not capital, but also I was right, you just said it. Capital is the city and Capitol is the building, and I was talking about the building. You’re also digging into my profile to bring up irrelevant shit, just like a typical liberal. And you’re also taking this too far, I made my point clearly, you’re just going super nerd over here.
10 years ago at 5:04 pmGive up
10 years ago at 5:31 amI think it’s pretty unanimous that you took the L on this one
10 years ago at 1:27 pmI guess I’ll be the one. Capitol* you fucking jabroni.
10 years ago at 4:56 pmDamn hippies
10 years ago at 4:55 pmJust piss on a car #screwyourpaintliberals
10 years ago at 4:59 pmyou sure showed them
10 years ago at 1:20 pmThis is the most inaccurate title of all time
10 years ago at 5:46 pmHaving your dick out in public. TDornM
10 years ago at 6:15 pmShow us your piss(er)
10 years ago at 6:27 pmShow us your tits
10 years ago at 6:31 pmgonna pee on some of those smelly aids infested hippies
10 years ago at 8:49 pmFinally politicians are passing legislation that matters.
10 years ago at 9:18 pmWow, between the AIDS and the harboring of illegals, here’s another reason I won’t go to SF. Damn liberal wasteland.
10 years ago at 2:02 pm