Scrub Minnesota Football Player Declares Himself The “Holder Of The Year”
In football, you get awards for everything. Offensive player of the year. Defensive player of the year. Best OL/DL, RB/LB, WR/DB and of course, quarterback. Even the top kicker in the country gets flown down to Orlando for a trophy presentation. Throw in all the awards for coaching and it’s almost like that Kia Sorento commercial where the dad gets pissed off that everyone got a participation trophy. You’d think every position on the field had some kind of post-season award attached to it.
You’d be wrong.
Unsung hero Peter Mortell, a placeholder for the University of Minnesota, understands that his position is not one of glory. The only time you hear the name of a holder is when they fuck up something so bad it warrants discussion.
Mortell isn’t in it for the recognition, but when he wasn’t recognized for his incredibly successful season (100 percent on PATs, 15/19 on field goals), he fired up the Adobe Photoshop and gave himself an award: Holder of The Year.
"Your hands are too slow" they said.
"Your cadence has no rhythm" they said. This one's for the state of Minnesota. pic.twitter.com/HkgGRK0aL1
— Peter Mortell (@PMortell37) December 1, 2015
That’s what it’s all about right there. You gotta make your own goddamn path. No sitting around and waiting for someone to recognize you as one of the best holders in the league. That won’t do it. You have to let people know you’re the best damn holder in the league. It’s the only way you will command the respect you deserve.
This is the ultimate power move, and I respect no one on the Minnesota Golden Gopher football team more than Peter Mortell..
Image via Twitter
Entitling yourself the best at an insignificant position. TFM
10 years ago at 11:04 amI was the best librarian my fraternity has ever had.
10 years ago at 11:28 amThat’s usually responsible for a test bank . That’s an important job.
10 years ago at 12:01 pmI deny having any knowledge of a test bank.
10 years ago at 12:15 pm“I do not recall”
10 years ago at 12:16 pmHe gay
10 years ago at 4:02 pmNobody here likes you. Leave this place immediately.
10 years ago at 5:44 amSo apparently he’s good on his knees? Hey Steve, I bet he’ll do his 3-point stance for ya. Only if you ask nicely, though.
10 years ago at 11:10 amSteve is worthless but that was still pretty aggressive. Calm down guy.
10 years ago at 12:45 pmAt least we have a good holder because our QB, Mitch Lidner, sucks a bag of dicks on a daily basis.
10 years ago at 11:23 amHe’s certifiably illiterate for his handling of nearly every read option play
10 years ago at 2:35 pmBeing the best holder in the nation is a lot like being the smartest guy in SAE
10 years ago at 11:26 amSteve, you’re in no position to ever call anyone a scrub.
10 years ago at 11:32 amBeen scouting this kid for a long time because as we all know holders are very valuable at the Pro level. Big hands to snag the ball out of the air, lazer focus and a real athlete once the balls in his hand. The only thing I question is his football IQ and his ability to handle the pressure of being a star player. Will he crumble and make dumb decisions like we’ve seen with past NFL stars?
10 years ago at 12:01 pm*cough* Johnny Manziel *cough*
He’s got some real potential but is a bit raw to go in the first two rounds. I like
Him as a round 3 with potential star status
10 years ago at 12:02 pmJM was never an NFL star…
10 years ago at 5:47 amAnybody got a highlight reel on this kid? I’d love to see the tape before agree with this designation.
10 years ago at 12:19 pmIn all fairness, there’s not a whole lot to respect about that team this year
10 years ago at 2:36 pmI’d argue Iowa State’s holder is much more entertaining to watch
10 years ago at 11:59 pm