Sign Thief Narrowed Down To PIKE Chapter From NMSU

Dillon Cheverere13 years ago

Take a good look at all the scummy faces in the above photo. What a sad group of societal leaches these guys are, huh?

We have it on good authority that one of these campus bottom feeders is the perp responsible for the theft of the Total Frat Move sign from in front of the TFM Headquarters over the weekend. The Pike chapter shown is from New Mexico State University, believed to be the house aiding and abetting this heartless criminal. The following chain of events is how we came to this conclusion.

1. The below photo was submitted to TFM with this title: “a fuck you to roger dorn from nmsu.”

Great, so we now know that the perp attends New Mexico State University (fuck you too, by the way). I naturally asked, “Can we narrow it down any more?” It turns out we could.

2. The user submitted this photo using his .edu email address.

Our Tech Guy then used his email address to search for him on Facebook. Bingo, we got a hit. It turns out he is, in fact, a current NMSU student, and a member of…..Pi Kappa Alpha. This is usually about the time I warn you guys not to challenge TFM Tech Guy, while pointing out situations like this one, or the one where he uncovered the identity of the secret dick pic assailant. Truthfully, though, this one was set on a tee for him. So easy. Fish in a barrel.

I am omitting the guy’s name because he is not likely the culprit here, but simply an associate of the culprit. His Facebook profile photo shows him wearing a bow tie and powerpointing the camera, something I’m sure you are all shocked to learn.

Again, I must warn you:

I wish this clip continued with Liam Neeson saying he wouldn’t be satisfied until that guy’s head was on a stick in the TFM Headquarters lawn, but it doesn’t, so I’ll continue: I won’t be happy until your head is on a stick in the TFM Headquarters lawn. We’ll let Peaco have his way with your decaying head, just to prove a point and warn any others who might consider stepping on our turf with bad intentions.

Return the sign before things start to get ugly.

I know what you’re thinking: It’s gotta be this kid:

I’m inclined to agree.