Snobby Hipster Environmentalists Ban Water Bottles On Campus, End Up Increasing Pollution

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Every college has at least a handful of self-righteous, pretentious environmental groups on campus. The kind of kids who stand outside the library sticking flyers about global warming in your face, then go back to their dorm rooms to write five paragraph Facebook statuses about how careless Millennials are ruining the country for our grandchildren. The snobs who will cough loudly in your direction and point to the school’s “Tobacco Free Zone” sign when they see you spark up a heater (Goddammit, I’m on Adderall, and I just cranked out fifteen pages on the Bolshevik Revolution — just let me have this). These kids suck, which is why it warms my heart to see them fail so miserably.

After a student-led charge, the University of Vermont banned bottled water from campus and offered free reusable bottles as an alternative, hoping the initiative would reduce plastic waste. But when the ban went into effect, the exact opposite happened. Robbed of the convenience of a Deer Park from a nearby vending machine, students opted to grab a Coke instead, and did so at a higher rate. This not only increased plastic waste on campus, but it made everyone fatter.

From The College Fix:

In fact, the data found an 8 percent increase in bottles shipped to the campus between Spring of 2012 and Spring of 2013, and a 25 percent increase in bottles of sugary drinks shipped to campus, according to University of Vermont officials.

The push to end water bottles on campuses is everywhere right now. It’s only a matter of time before a bratty hipster smacks you with a picket sign bearing the photo of a dead polar bear after seeing you take a swig from a bottle of Aquafina. When they do, look them in the eyes through their non-prescription glasses, tell them about this study, then remind them of how worthless their lives are.

[via The College Fix]

Image via YouTube

  1. NotAHighschooler

    I mean, who needs water bottles in college, it’s all about beer bottles you feel me hahahaha #fr@ #idrinkalcohol #dornforpresident

    10 years ago at 12:59 pm
  2. Lauras_Bush

    What? Liberals forcing their superior “morals” on people and it actually made the world a worse place? Huh.. Who would’ve thunk it

    10 years ago at 1:01 pm
  3. Ten Second Tom

    Speaking of political parties in all honesty, and since we don’t have forums, who do y’all’s top candidate for president?

    10 years ago at 1:08 pm
      1. Rowdy_Texan_

        If there was somehow a way to combine the mind of Scott Walker with the “legacy name” if you will of Jen bush & the no PC attitude of Donald Trump I’d think we’d have a winner

        10 years ago at 3:56 pm
      1. Creamery

        The reason I like Scott Walker so much is he has beaten out a dem 3 times in a typically blue state. Carson has never been elected, whereas Walker has proven his electability. And no offense, the black vote of ’08 is now the woman vote of ’16.

        10 years ago at 1:57 pm
      2. PIKAUSERNAME

        Carson is a great leader, he would make a better Vice President than a president. But I like his views on the second amendment, race issues, and diplomacy.

        10 years ago at 2:34 pm
      3. scoobyfrye

        Carson stated in a 2013 interview with Glenn Beck that semi-automatic firearms should be better regulated in large cities and high-crime areas.

        10 years ago at 8:41 pm
      4. scoobyfrye

        Carson said that he found the “concept of for profits for the insurance companies” absurd. Carson stated in a 2013 interview with Glenn Beck that semi-automatic firearms should be better regulated in large cities and high-crime areas. Why would you want him to be president?

        10 years ago at 8:41 pm
    1. RedPill

      I am unsure about Walker. His platform is that he defeated the Unions. But…..he only beat the “junior varsity team”. He beat the teachers union, but He backed down and caved in to the police and firefighter unions.

      10 years ago at 2:31 pm
      1. Beer Jacket

        I am from Wisconsin and voted for Walker each time I could. That being said other than the union thing he really hasn’t done anything good for the state in his tenure. I started out supporting Walker, but now I am hoping Rand Paul wins he has bold ideas and doesn’t have to deal with as much useless social issues.

        10 years ago at 8:38 am
      1. RedPill

        Trump/Cruz would be good.
        Trump/Rand is good too.
        Rubio seems like a Boehner Rhino.

        10 years ago at 2:44 pm
      2. Creamery

        I am with you on everything you have said. But the fact is a ticket that’s going to stand a chance with any combination of Cruz, Rand, and Trump (pres and vice) seems wishful. It’s almost like you have to throw in a semi moderate like Rubio as a vice to catch as many swing voters and minorities as you can and to stand a chance against Hillary.

        10 years ago at 2:57 pm
    2. Con Seannery

      I think Jeb’s got the best shot of actually beating the lefties so I’m hoping he comes out of the primaries on top. Plus he gets shit done, which would be a nice change of pace.

      10 years ago at 8:38 pm
  4. Mostly the Jolly Good Fellow

    Getting told off by hipsters after writing a paper on a communist revolution? NF.

    Getting told to write a paper on a communist revolution and writing one on how Ronald Reagan hated communists instead? FaF.

    10 years ago at 1:39 pm
    1. Colonel Kilgore

      Check out Bacon’s article on the real diplomas of the SEC because it sounds like this will probably be you.

      10 years ago at 1:50 pm
  5. Sailgating

    It amazes me how liberals can preach tolerance then turn around and force their views on anyone they can. Fucking hypocrites.

    10 years ago at 1:41 pm
  6. PIKAUSERNAME

    I recycle my water bottles anyways, empty the water fill with dip spit. Also fuck cleaning a mud jug.

    10 years ago at 2:29 pm
    1. FrattyGuard278th

      I used to have a couple of MudJugs, they were great at first but they’re a pain in the ass to clean and they always end up smelling like ass. Gave them all away.

      10 years ago at 2:57 pm
  7. PeerPressureChair

    Are we really portraying being too cool to recycle as a TFM?.. That just bums me out. We’re many things, but I really hope we’re not that stupid.

    10 years ago at 2:41 pm
    1. Fuck_Cargos

      Dude. No one is against recycling. Your reading comprehension needs some work.

      10 years ago at 2:45 pm
      1. Fratasaurus

        Using a liberals logic, since we’re against mandatory water bottle bans we are also anti-earth/anti-recycle, now leave it to the media to reinforce that stereotype

        10 years ago at 8:24 pm
      2. ScoochMcGooch

        Liberal sources say Greeks are also responsible for strangling baby turtles due to our alcoholism combining with the issue at hand polluting the oceans as ritual hazing and rape of mother earth leading to global warming as an impending apocalypse. How can you be Greek after such logic?

        10 years ago at 8:49 pm
  8. PeerPressureChair

    The fraternity men who went on to become presidents of the United States were probably the ones who protested and organized movements for changes on their campus, not the ones who sat around mocking involved students…

    10 years ago at 2:44 pm
    1. DeltaXiGuy

      Perhaps there’s a miscommunication here. (Warning: Novel Ahead)

      There is a difference between those leaders of the past you mentioned and modern day “activists” such as the ones in this article. The difference lies in their motivation and the methods in which they bring their results to life. True leaders see a real world problem and find a way to solve it out of the kindness of their hearts and a motivation to better their society. The stereotypical modern college “activist” is often nothing more than a self-obsorbed, deeply angry person with an unearned sense of moral superiority over everyone else who actually enjoys talking down to their peers like uneducated chimps. Issues such as environmentalism gives them an easy strawman cause that makes them look courageous without actually risking anything. They don’t have to fight in a war to stop a genocide or a bloodthirsty radical group (such as a military), they don’t have to get into a gunfight with criminals, give CPR to a dying victim, or drag people out of burning buildings (like first responders), they don’t have to stand against a morally corrupt law in the face of potential social outcast (like the civil rights movement when it at times divided a nation) and they certainly don’t have to risk leaving their first-world lifestyle in order to stand with real victims hand-in-hand through their struggle in poverty (like a missionary/relief aid worker in a third-world country). In other words, they use a potentially noble cause as a means to an end, which is condemning strangers in order to justify their own sense of worth. Just look at their protest signs. The themes scream condemnation: “You are the problem, I am not”.

      The correct way to be a leader and to change something for the better is to have such a compelling, positive, and truthful case that you convince people to follow it by their own free will alone. The problem that people have with the other kinds of groups such as these is that they forced a rule onto their peers, which in return offended them and caused them to turn to an alternative (drinking a beverage they actually had freedom in choosing) with nastier results than before. I agree with you and understand where you’re coming from; I just think their hearts weren’t in the right place. Hope this sorts some things out.

      Tl;dr- Forced altruism isn’t altruism.

      10 years ago at 4:39 pm
      1. NotaDad

        Articulate, intelligent, and concise with a shortened version for others. Thank you my friend.

        10 years ago at 7:11 pm
  9. Bernanke is a Hebe

    Honestly, protecting the environment is cool and part of being an actual conservative. Bottled water is literally just tap water put into a bottle, so fill up a Nalgene, maybe use a Brita if you’re a pussy, and stop giving away money to Zephyrhills and Dasani.

    10 years ago at 3:32 pm