Sorry Girls, Drinking A Glass Of Wine Without The Gym Won’t Make You Skinnier

In really bad news for people who can’t decide between staying fit and getting plastered, it turns out that the research study that claimed drinking red wine could replace going to the gym was a liiiiiiiiiittle misinterpreted. This story (obviously) made headlines across the world, including right here at our sister site Total Sorority Move.
From the University of Alberta Medical School:
In light of recent social media coverage of a three-year-old study performed by Faculty of Medicine & Dentistry researcher Jason Dyck, several misinterpretations have been highlighted that need to be corrected:
Red wine is no excuse not to hit the gym, period. The study, which was published in the Journal of Physiology and later appeared in Science Daily in 2012, demonstrated that a natural compound, resveratrol enhances exercise training and performance. The study does not advocate avoiding exercise.
“If you’re drinking red wine to get resveratrol, you would have to drink anywhere from 100 to 1,000 bottles per day,” Dyck adds.
See, this is what you get from relying on Canadian medical studies. Of course, I should have known, because ever since I read about this I’ve been chugging inhuman amounts of boxed wine. For science. If this resveratrol crap checked out, I should be at Dan Regester levels by now. Instead, I think I’m close to weighing in with the muscle mass of his left calf. Maybe.
See you at the gym tomorrow, ladies..
You’re writing an article directed at girls on a frat website/app, fuck you
10 years ago at 5:01 pmSingle, huh?
10 years ago at 5:11 pm“Girls don’t stop by the house so why would they read a frat humor site?” Congrats on the dong though.
10 years ago at 5:14 pmDont you know they have had so many girls coming to their house that they had to start charging the fat ones a cover.
10 years ago at 5:48 pmYou let the fat ones in?
10 years ago at 5:50 pmDon’t get all excited on us.
10 years ago at 1:52 amYour mama so old she calls The Cretaceous Period “Freshman Year”.
10 years ago at 6:24 pmThanks Karl and fuck you Doc
10 years ago at 6:44 pmThanks for the advice, doc
10 years ago at 5:07 pmI’m not a doctor, but I’ll take a look
10 years ago at 5:11 pmYou have a very punchable face, doc.
10 years ago at 5:14 pmNot quite sure who actually believed this. Just crushed lots of collage girls dreams
10 years ago at 9:43 pmCollage, eh?
10 years ago at 10:00 pmIt sounds like you were sure
10 years ago at 10:38 pmLet them believe it works. That way we can get the drunk enough to not remember the night
10 years ago at 2:37 pmSorry Dan*
10 years ago at 12:33 am