I can’t beat that, well except that I actually have a true story. Woke up with an acid burn covering my entire elbow, I also had holes burned though my shirt and pants. Apparently we blacked out at the bars an came back and decided to mess shit up with “liquid fire.”
Found me in the middle of a country road trying to stand up with my femur sticking out of my thigh. Life flighted, where I got a titanium rod in my leg. Oh, and three stitches in my face and a chipped front tooth.
I fell off a fence and landed on some brick ledge real wasted, not blacked out because I remember it but very close. Went to spring break the next day and came back a week later still hurting like shit. Went to the doctor and it turned out I broke 2 ribs. price you pay for partying I guess.
Woke up with a partially snapped-off penis, only hanging on its base by a flap of skin. Put some wood glue on it the next day. Can’t feel a thing in the tip right now, but the slam said it works fine.
“dude, you really need to go get stitches bad”…”the fucking party JUST started!”…”no dude your face is covered in blood, and it won’t stop bleeding, and i think i can see your skull.”…”fuck, hide my beer I’ll be back in a few”… what a night, but I did learn that scarring injuries are magnets for sorostitute “nurses”, the combination of percocet, cold beer, and blowjobs is a wonderful thing
Solid. I don’t really know what the fuck got into everyone today, but these posts have been the funniest in months.
14 years ago at 11:19 amRight? Its a sudden surge of genius.
14 years ago at 11:39 amSudden surge of frat!!
14 years ago at 11:40 amHad at least three of these, and a broken nose. I agree the TFM’s are getting better. Anyone wake up with a real crazy injury?
14 years ago at 1:50 pmI still can’t lift my left arm from blacking out a few weeks ago.
As for the quality of posts, must be in response to the “Summer Halftime Report.” Frat on!
14 years ago at 1:53 pmWoke up with a burn on my leg from at atv that I vaguely remember flipping. Also, strange pain in my left hip.
14 years ago at 2:17 pmallegedly fell down the stairs in the house, broken nose and concussion
14 years ago at 2:57 pmCut my bottom lip all the way across shotgunning bud heavy on the 4th. Refused to get stitches but was told i won the shotgun
14 years ago at 3:18 pmLost my leg in a car accident. Don’t remember a thing. Beat that
14 years ago at 3:19 pmI can’t beat that, well except that I actually have a true story. Woke up with an acid burn covering my entire elbow, I also had holes burned though my shirt and pants. Apparently we blacked out at the bars an came back and decided to mess shit up with “liquid fire.”
14 years ago at 3:35 pmFound me in the middle of a country road trying to stand up with my femur sticking out of my thigh. Life flighted, where I got a titanium rod in my leg. Oh, and three stitches in my face and a chipped front tooth.
14 years ago at 4:13 pmI fell off a fence and landed on some brick ledge real wasted, not blacked out because I remember it but very close. Went to spring break the next day and came back a week later still hurting like shit. Went to the doctor and it turned out I broke 2 ribs. price you pay for partying I guess.
14 years ago at 4:29 pmI’ve broken a telephone pole. Rolled the frathoe on impact…I walked away with a nosebleed from the airbag.
14 years ago at 4:58 pmAh…to be honest I can’t determine if the nosebleed was attributed to the airbag or the blow
14 years ago at 10:16 pmWoke up with a partially snapped-off penis, only hanging on its base by a flap of skin. Put some wood glue on it the next day. Can’t feel a thing in the tip right now, but the slam said it works fine.
14 years ago at 11:58 pmWoke up once without skin on my palms. I think I jumped off a fence or something cus there were bits of gravel embedded in the flesh.
14 years ago at 5:11 pmI woke up in a Vegas villa missing a tooth and my best friend, married a hooker, found a baby, and had a tiger in my bathroom. TFTC.
14 years ago at 7:48 pmWaking up with AIDS. TFTC.
14 years ago at 11:47 amThen theres this piece of shit.
14 years ago at 12:09 pmRuining all the fun. NF
14 years ago at 12:17 pmThats funny as shit.
14 years ago at 7:54 pmThat’s*
14 years ago at 7:55 pmTObamacareM
14 years ago at 12:56 pmI believe this post would be better suited tftc over tfm
14 years ago at 2:17 pmAgreed
14 years ago at 3:18 pmStitching yourself up while blacked out. FAF
14 years ago at 2:31 pm^ My thoughts exactly.
14 years ago at 3:50 pmStitching no. Super glueing yes.
14 years ago at 4:59 pmDuct tape.
14 years ago at 6:24 pmWood putty.
14 years ago at 9:20 pmDirt.
14 years ago at 9:50 pmCauterize the wound with a cigar lighter. FAF
14 years ago at 10:00 pmKeeping up with your Tetanus boosters for this exact reason. TFM
14 years ago at 2:47 pm“dude, you really need to go get stitches bad”…”the fucking party JUST started!”…”no dude your face is covered in blood, and it won’t stop bleeding, and i think i can see your skull.”…”fuck, hide my beer I’ll be back in a few”… what a night, but I did learn that scarring injuries are magnets for sorostitute “nurses”, the combination of percocet, cold beer, and blowjobs is a wonderful thing
14 years ago at 5:29 pmI like toes
14 years ago at 8:29 pmi like turtles
14 years ago at 8:29 pmi like titliest
14 years ago at 8:30 pmTitleist*
14 years ago at 10:47 pm