State of the Union 2011/Reagan’s Russian Jokes

TEXAS—With the 2011 State of the Union airing at 8 p.m. CST, widespread boredom is sure to engulf the nation. More than ever this speech will be nothing more than a showcase of tradition, after Obama and the libs lost control of the House to the Republican Party. In many ways Obama is fighting the Democratic image, and the GOP, to see who can display more fiscal restraint during this debt consumed era. Even if Obama knows he can speak in a more politically and grammatically correct fashion that George W. could, at least W made the jaded State of the Union more entertaining with inadvertent comedic displays and his Texas twang.

How do we avoid disinterest and boredom? Obvious answer: turn the event into a drinking game, and watch a classic clip of Ronald Reagan making jokes about Russian commies. Thank heavens we have Rush Limbaugh here to help us. It’s common knowledge that Rush used to have a problem raging with painkillers. Well now he’s helping us out by giving us a way to rage on a Tuesday boozeday with some advice on how to make the State of the Union more enjoyable:

“If you want to do a drinking game for the State of the Union show tomorrow night I have two words and you will be plastered inside the first 20 minutes: ‘Investments’ and ‘civility.’ If you consume a shot of quality adult beverage every time you hear Obama talk about investments or civility, ladies and gentlemen, you’ll be unable to pay attention to that thing.” -Rush Limbaugh

When he says a quality adult beverage, does he mean morphine? I don’t know. I know he doesn’t mean a fucking martini, sake bomb, or some Pinot Noir. This is America, and even if the speech is boring we’re still going to have some fun.

Reagan with some good ol’ American comedy to ease the suffering:

  1. winning civil wars

    Those jokes about Russia were the worst jokes I’ve ever heard. Reagan was a douche bag

    13 years ago at 4:42 pm
    1. North Fratolina

      Dear winning civil wars,
      You are clearly a very liberal, bull headed idiot if you think Reagan was a douche bag. You probably voted Obama, have a coexist sticker on your car and probably have a male life partner. The only thing you will ever rise to in this world is working for someone 40 hours a week in a cubicle barely making 50K a year. Whereas everyone else who thinks Reagan was a great president will easily make six or seven figures and will control and destroy your life. I say this next part in respect, GO FUCK YOUR SELF.

      13 years ago at 4:50 pm
    2. SouthernByGodsGrace

      It was actually a war for independence. A civil war’s definition is a war for control of a country. So are you a communist Chinese person “winning civil wars”? How is this geed allowed on this site. Go back up to Jersey and put some gel in your hair.

      13 years ago at 7:30 pm
    3. OnlyTheBestSince1898

      Winning Civil Wars, *we were under the impression that isolating those with an attitude such as yours in the frigid northern part of our country was sufficient. We were wrong. Please relocate yourself to Russia, immediately.

      *Those who understand national economics, the value of retaining one’s own wealth, and a BS free approach to politics.

      13 years ago at 1:51 am
  2. fratanomics

    “My fellow Americans. I’m pleased to announce that I’ve signed legislation outlawing the Soviet Union. We begin bombing in five minutes.”

    13 years ago at 5:09 pm
  3. Rush Limbro

    trickle down economics and single handily beating the Soviets makes him the fucking man and basically the best president in the history of our country. Bite some curb “winning civil wars”.

    13 years ago at 8:23 pm
    1. Bro Webb

      Outspending the Soviets won the Cold War. No offense to Reagan, but trickle down economics failed for about 90% of the country

      13 years ago at 5:38 pm
  4. Frattiesburg

    Reagan is rolling over in his grave thinking about this GDI president who continues to fuck everything up.

    13 years ago at 10:07 pm
  5. Tallapoosa Snu

    I’m so sick of the fake, “celebrity presidents” like Obama… Reagan was so calm, intelligent, powerful, and charismatic and as soon as you heard him speak you knew it was the truth and that this man represented his people with every ounce of his soul… Theres nothin I wouldnt give to sit on the porch, grab a couple cold ones, and talk it over with ol’ Ron for a little while

    13 years ago at 10:34 pm
    1. Bro Webb

      Reagan was a celebrity president… hell of a guy but he literally was a celebrity

      13 years ago at 5:40 pm
    2. rainbowsociety

      yeah learn your shit snu reagan was an actor for god’s sake. he knew how to fucking give a speech that’s for sure.

      13 years ago at 6:27 am
  6. Whats your major

    I’m just waiting for someone at the beginning of the Reagan video to yell “Show us your face, brother!”

    13 years ago at 10:47 am
  7. Bones

    “I know he doesn’t mean a fucking martini, sake bomb, or some Pinot Noir. This is America” Haha, very well done.

    13 years ago at 12:22 pm
  8. frabst blue ribbon

    Call me a pussy geed or any other name you have, but I come close to tears every time I see a speech by Reagan. If only I could have been alive for his presidency… I envy every American who lived during his time.

    13 years ago at 2:16 pm
    1. Godandgunsaregood

      Hear hear. I’m a bothered by the fact that I wasn’t born during the Reagan years, but at least I was born during the H.W. era.

      13 years ago at 11:42 pm