Stevens Institute Students Develop Hangover Cure, PC Police Shut It Down For Being Offensive Portrayal Of College Life

Alex Buscemi9 years ago

The Stevens Institute is holding its annual Innovation Expo today, but HangoverLyte, a beverage that vows to cure hangovers, will not be on display because some students believe it is a poor reflection of the student body.

Inspired by PediaLyte, a beverage used to treat dehydration in children, a group of students concocted HangoverLyte with a mixture of calcium, phosphorous, potassium, sodium chloride, and electrolytes to remedy hangover symptoms. The students were poised to enter the beverage into the university’s Innovation Expo, which is basically a fancy, college-level science fair.

But here’s where they ran into trouble. Some of the men who created HangoverLyte are members of Greek life and thought the Greek community would be a great place to promote their budding product. It was. HangoverLyte quickly became popular amongst students in Greek life, and garnered enough recognition for an article on the university website. You can read the article below:

Wait… what happened here? Turns out, the student-run United Greek Community (UGC) was outraged that HangoverLyte was being promoted by Greeks. They wrote an article in the student newspaper lambasting the makers of HangoverLyte as well as the article for their “blatant attempts to perpetuate stereotypes.”

This article was inappropriate and does not accurately portray the Stevens Greek community. We are insulted by the suggestion that fraternities and sororities would be “great ambassadors” for a hangover beverage. Publicizing this article has undone so much of the hard work that the Stevens Greeks have done in recent history to improve the perception of Greeks in this country and at this school.

Then they threw in some figures about all the community service Greeks do, and encouraged their peers to stop by the HangoverLyte stand during the Innovation Expo to give those drunkards a piece of their mind. But students won’t even get that chance.

In wake of all the negative attention — including an article in the city paper covering the controversy — university administrators did what they do best: cave to angry, irrational college kids. They sent an email to chapter and national advisors saying that Stevens Greek Life would have no part in HangoverLyte. What’s more, HangoverLyte would be barred from competing in the Innovation Expo.

This shit hurts my head (and I didn’t even drink that much last night). Everyone in college gets hangovers. Fuck, everyone in the world gets hangovers. For the UGC to accuse the makers of a beverage that remedies such a common ailment of intentionally harming Greek life is ridiculous. And really, UGC, you think disassociating with a hangover cure is going to trick people into thinking you don’t drink? Stock up on HangoverLyte now. Y’all must be hammered.

And fuck Stevens Institute for giving in to the UGC’s demands. You’re supposed to encourage innovation, not shit all over it. These kids did what every successful entrepreneur has done. They found a need and they fulfilled it. To shun them from a competition they poured their hearts and souls into so you can pretend your students don’t drink is childish..

Image via YouTube

**UPDATE**

Looks like the university pulled a 180 and is now letting them compete in the expo. The article touting HangoverLyte’s ingenuity is still nowhere to be found, as is their association with the Greek community.