Stop Frat Shaming

Throwing on my 5-inch inseams, oxford button-downs, and two-eyed boat shoes has become increasingly difficult with each passing day due to the current social climate. Once I leave the safe haven that is the fraternity house, all bets are off, and I have to fend for myself against the crushing majority that does not approve of my lifestyle.

They see my neon, inappropriately pun-laden tank top, backward golf hat from a PGA tournament I didn’t attend, and plastic sunglasses from a sorority’s philanthropic 5k superhero run, and think of me as a privileged monster with zero self-control or willpower, and the individuality of a Kool-Aid drinking cult member.

It’s a real struggle, guys. The sheer sight of me wearing pastel repulses the general public. Parents turn their children away, senior citizens shake their heads in disgust, and hard working women just looking to get a fair shake in this world actively approach me and spit directly in my face before chastising me for things I’ve never done.

The cyber-bullying is infinitely worse.

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It’s time we take a stand. We need to put an end to the discrimination. We need to stop frat shaming. #FratstarsArePeopleToo

Apparently, the general consensus is that all fraternity gentlemen are lazy, misogynistic, homoerotic, entitled, racists that have had silver spoons shoved up their asses since they were crawling around the halls of their private country club villas as babies.

First off, that’s quite the rash generalization. Not only did I not grow up in a gated golf course community, I wasn’t even part of a private club. That’s right; I played public municipal links my entire life. I’m not proud of it, but that’s all my family could afford. #HumbleBeginnings

Half of the top 10 Fortune 500 companies are led by fraternity and sorority men and women, according to the latest study I could find which was from 2012-2013. It’s probably the same now, and like the NFL, “probably” is good enough for me. So do you think those individuals got to where they are by being lazy? Exactly. It had nothing to do with shaking the right hands and knowing the right people. #RiseAndGrind

Misogynistic? Are you familiar with the pledge process? It’s just the best thing that ever happened for feminism. We have institutionalized the teaching of historically female tasks, such as cooking, cleaning, and fetching, to young men, who will no doubt carry these skills into their later lives. #YesAllPledges

Did some borderline sexually confusing incidents take place during pledging? Now is really not the right time for me to answer that question. And just because you were forced into an elephant walk, that one instance doesn’t make you gay. That’s like calling Kim Kardashian a porn star. Sure, she made that awful tape with Ray J, but that one incident doesn’t define who she is as a truly terrible human being. Alright, so maybe that wasn’t the best individual to use in an analogy, but you get my point. #WhatWasThatPointAgain

Finally, the biggest hurdle fraternities have to overcome: the race issue. Have scumbags in Greek letters participated in generally deplorable acts? No doubt. But the bulk of our organizations are more than happy to celebrate other cultures. That’s why we throw parties on days like Cinco de Mayo wearing sombreros and ridiculously fake mustaches, and we make gun sounds as we fire fake pistols we purchased at the dollar store earlier in the day. Not as an insult to your people, but as a show of appreciation. #DiversityAtWork

We’re easy targets, I get it, but it’s time to stop immediately casting stones at us simply because we’re in fraternities. We should be able to live our lives like every other American citizen without suffering in constant fear of persecution. Don’t judge us by the length of our shorts, but by the content of our characters.

  1. Girthquake

    People have wrong ideas about us… Misogynists? The country club golf course I grew up on definitely let women play the course, so I don’t know where people get these ideas.

    10 years ago at 5:25 pm
    1. Fratobilly

      If you read what he said about that in the article you would know what he meant.

      10 years ago at 9:08 pm
  2. maroonandgold

    The only people calling us misogynists are the chicks who are too bitchy for us to give them the time of day.

    10 years ago at 5:29 pm
  3. TacticalButterKnife

    Seriously…I might use the skills I acquired as a pledge. Just not while I have pledges to teach.

    10 years ago at 5:30 pm
  4. Dan Regester-edsexoffender

    So wrote an article about stopping frat shaming on a website designed for fraternity men? This article was retarded because all you did was bitch about something we are all aware of. If you want to stop “Frat Shaming” maybe you should post this to a website non-Greeks actually go to like reddit. The only good part about reading this sad excuse for an article was when I got to laugh at those comments

    10 years ago at 5:30 pm
    1. Dan Regester

      I think you missed the boat on the article as a whole, and especially my photoshop job. You’re better than that, Dan Regester-edsexoffender.

      10 years ago at 5:38 pm
      1. RedPill

        As Dorn would say, “Roooaaasted.”
        (Although now that he lives in the Burbs he probably also upgraded to a gas grill.)

        10 years ago at 5:52 pm
      2. Tuco_1855

        Probably wears an apron too when he grills, and raises his tongs and says shit like “howdy neighbor” to everyone he sees. What a pompous yuppie.

        10 years ago at 6:13 pm
    2. Witte

      Who uses the word retarded? c’mon man. Your better than that.

      Q: What does a GDI call a fraternity man after graduation?

      A: Boss.

      10 years ago at 8:09 pm
  5. thadcastle2

    Entitled? Who the fuck do these people think they are going around calling us of all people entitled?

    10 years ago at 5:37 pm
  6. beerbong_in_my_pants

    The fact that most members of the Greek system aren’t actually Greek, should speak to the fact that the racist claim is bullshit. Plus, I know we have all seen these “african american” clubs that are based entirely on discrimination. People need to just chill out and just do their own thing.

    10 years ago at 5:38 pm