Study Shows Thursday is Best Day to Have Sex
13 years ago

A recent study conducted by the London School of Economics reveals that Thursday morning is the best time of the week to knock boots. Coming in a close second, per my own study, was an eight-way tie between Thursday evening, Friday afternoon and night, Saturday morning, Sunday after brunch, and better parts of Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday.

According to researchers at the London School Of Economics, Thursday morning is best for having sex as natural cortisol levels, which stimulate sex hormones, are at their highest on this day.

My natural cortisol levels are through the fucking roof right now from reading the results of this study. I also have to apologize for posting this just after midday central time on Thursday, as Thursday morning just became visibile in our rearview mirrors. You can save this story for next week, or just fib it and leave out the “morning” part of it when presenting to your significant other/friend with which benefits are shared.

This isn’t the only interesting revelation. Did you know that Monday is the best day to buy a camera? That Tuesday is the best day to eat out at a restaurant? That Wednesday is the best day to ask for a pay raise and go shopping? That Friday is the best day to sell your home and get married? And that Sunday is the best day to end an eBay auction? This is quite the odd grouping of data, but the goods are in the title.

Share accordingly.


  6. Tallapoosa Snu

    That’s horseshit I ask for a pay raise every wednesday and they always say “shut up and get back to killing the hostages”…. it’s really fucked up.

    13 years ago at 12:34 pm