Stuff Frat People Hate: The Other Team

There are all kinds of shit-talkers in the world, but none make a man’s blood boil quite like an opposing football team’s fans on his home turf. They start popping up Monday or Tuesday prior to the matchup, and steadily increase in numbers each night until every bar on the strip is hosting hillbillies of questionable intelligence. It would be far more subtle if we just kept our disagreements on the football field, but we’re all in fraternities here and subtlety is not one of our strong suits. Every opposing fan is acting exactly the same as you would in their shoes (thus making them complete drunken assholes), but that doesn’t mean you don’t fucking hate them for it.

Every rivalry in college football has its own wonderful traditions and elaborate trophies, but absolutely none of that concerns us when we’re half a handle deep, blaring the Freebird solo on the frat castle lawn. One shout of “Fuck [insert your team here]” is enough to incite a shouting match at the very least, and possibly a massive brawl. They might be exactly like you in nearly every way: button-downs, boat shoes, visors, and other typical fraternity garb, but because of their team allegiance they become pure scum, falling neatly between Hitler and Richard Simmons on the “I fucking hate you” scale.

To clarify, I do understand perfectly why the visiting team’s fans have to be such assholes. They’re in a new college town, surrounded by fans chanting and performing their trademark hand motions. They have to work twice as hard to pick up local slams, simply because of the color of their clothes. It’s understandable that they may be a bit irritated, and the natural response is to take it out on the home team fans.

I’ve been in that opposing position before, and yeah, I probably was an asshole too. That’s the beauty of college football. You can be a fine upstanding member of society six days a week, but from the second you throw on that gameday polo, you become a beer chugging animal ready to defend your team come hell or high water. It’s a double standard (the good kind, not the kind psychotic feminists complain about) and it makes the football experience that much better.

As we dive deeper into an already phenomenal college football season, the number of assholes making roadtrips is bound to increase. Hell, I’m probably going to commit every single act I mentioned I hated in this column when I go on a roadtrip of my own. That’s just how it works. It’s a beautiful thing.

    1. OffWeFrat

      ^^Yelling this in Gainesville probably made me “that guy” a couple of weeks ago…

      13 years ago at 6:06 pm
    1. fratless is hopeless

      ^You are truly a testament to how delusional UGA fans are about all facets of life.

      13 years ago at 1:26 pm
    2. Dan Mullen

      From what I hear Athens is like no other place. Hence to road trip. Looking forward to the bar scene, tailgate, and the UGA women. Hope yall don’t disappoint.

      13 years ago at 2:09 pm
    3. BROnard Ramsey

      Actually Farva, we call that a Tuesday. But I saw what you were trying to do.

      13 years ago at 3:12 pm
  1. Typical Chazz

    im glad u of m fans are the picture for this column. they are the worst fans i can imagine and most of them never went to the school aka walmart wolverines. all their girls are ugly and their fight song and colors suck

    13 years ago at 1:10 pm
    1. Fraternity Lifestyle

      Let me introduce you to this college called ohio state. They are much worse than Michigan fans and there are more of them in their state (About 90% of Ohio is osu fans, and I’d say a good 75% of them didn’t even go to that school). I guarantee you there are more “Walmart buckeyes” than “Walmart Wolverines”. Yeah, they have cute girls, because anybody could get into that school. However, they don’t stack up to the girls of Indiana, Wisconsin, Penn State, or Michigan State.

      13 years ago at 3:24 pm
    2. WoodyHayes

      If you’re going to insult us, at least use our proper name. THE Ohio State University is far and away a better institution of higher education than whatever southern shithole you attend. Why don’t you actually come to a gameday in Columbus? Actually, forget it. You couldn’t afford tickets anyway. Enjoy your southern ignorance and poor future, I will be partying with 105,000 of my closest friends as we knock the shit out of Sparty this saturday.

      13 years ago at 3:49 pm
    3. Danny Devitbro

      Fraternity Lifestyle, your description of Ohio State fans is absolutely correct. OSU fans are as white-trashy as most NASCAR supporters.

      13 years ago at 4:38 pm
    4. frattywood

      Those of us that go to Michigan or are Michigan alumni find “wal-mart wolverines” to be pretty annoying, but we hate people from tOSU even more (the “t” being there just so nobody forgets that it’s THE Ohio State University, of course, just to be clear).

      Michigan definitely has more than its fair share of embarrassing geeds (like the ones pictured above) and far too many annoying liberals. And yes, our girls are very mediocre; without question, the best girls in the country are in the South. But our fight song is the best there is, our colors are great, and we still rage with the best of ’em. Our greek system has over 150 years of tradition and I’m proud to have been a part of it.

      Also, WoodyHayes, don’t try to brag about stadium size if yours isn’t the biggest. Big House = 109,901. The Shoe hardly compares.

      13 years ago at 6:53 pm
    5. BlueBloodWhitePearls

      Sparty, no one was talking about you, because quite frankly, nobody cares about you. Get back in your white trash, low-tier corner.

      13 years ago at 11:02 pm
    6. Harvey Specter III

      ‘The’ Ohio State University would accept my dog if he applied. Hell I bet even typical chazz here could get in as a transfer. UofM is a prestigious, selective (if youre white) school. Who cares if youre school is huge? That’s like being the biggest fraternity on campus, but bidding every swinging dick that comes to rush.

      13 years ago at 9:23 am
  2. Fratlanta Falcons

    So let me get this straight, as fraternity men, we are supposed to hate:

    – Strangers from the rival team
    – Other fraternities on campus, especially bottom-tiers
    – Pledges
    – Gingers
    – And the overly abundant amount GDI’s

    I’m glad we all agree this isn’t excessive

    13 years ago at 3:40 pm
    1. Year Around Frat

      Pretty soon: “Stuff frat people hate: everybody but yourself, they’re all out to get you.”

      13 years ago at 8:06 am
    1. proud to be tEXan

      “War damn douchebags.” One of the better things Dick Perry has said.

      13 years ago at 5:35 pm