Stuff Frat People Like: America

We may all have our differences come football season and over the outcome of the Civil War, but there are a few things we as Fraternal gentlemen coast to coast can all agree on.

A glass of whiskey. Proclaiming our superiority over GDI’s. A round of golf. Post-bar raw dog sessions. All of these things are unanimously decided as “great” in the almighty Gospel of Frat, but one place holds itself in regard above all others. I’m talking, of course, about America.

As any true Fraternity man will tell you, America is the best damn country anyone could live in, and other places just pale in comparison. Just try to play “Proud to be an American” at a party at the Frat Castle without the whole room singing along. It simply can’t be done.

We take the standard “USA! USA!” chant and apply it to everyday events. Just finished chugging your beer? USA! Aced an exam without studying? USA! Just got tested clean during the campus herpes outbreak? USA! USA! USA!

Everyone’s favorite “Land of the Free” is also where the Greek system as we know it began. Where else could a group of college men get together and unite under a banner of brotherhood and binge alcohol consumption at the same time? Do you really think Europe could pull that off?

We like to give credit where its due, and we know none of our debauchery would be possible without a country as great as our own. Open any closet in a Fraternity House and you are guaranteed to find at least 3 ridiculous American themed articles of clothing. Granted, that t-shirt sporting an American Eagle clutching an AK-47 Assault Rifle in it’s talons isn’t appropriate for an everyday bar crawl, but on special occasions (World Cup, the Olympics, Tuesday Afternoon) you have a duty as a citizen to wear it as proudly as possible.

Europe can keep its tight shirts and Capris, I’ll stick to properly fitting clothes that don’t make me look like an 11-year old girl. This is America: home of the Baconator, Plastic Surgery, Ronald Reagan, and the almighty Frat life.

So go ahead and shotgun that American Flag adorned Budweiser, you deserve it. In America no Redcoats or Nazis or GDI’s are going to be able to stop you. As you triumphantly toss the empty stars-and-stripes can to the ground like the “bombs bursting in air.” Remember, you’re in the one and only “Home of the Brave,” Frat accordingly.

  1. TwoBroThree


    “Today we did what we had to do. They counted on America to be passive. They counted wrong.” -Ronald Reagan

    13 years ago at 12:22 pm
  2. MrRobertLee

    What the fuck? An American eagle with an ak? Is that a fucking joke? As badass as that it is that woill never enter my choice if wardrobe. A shirt like that belongs to a certain someone named GDI. sorry bud but you ruined The post with that one

    13 years ago at 12:22 pm
    1. Mward2002

      Maybe he fucked up and meant american eagle like american bald eagle, not the clothing brand? I had to re-read that line a couple times too

      13 years ago at 12:34 pm
    2. Proper Fratire

      ^ Mward, I don’t believe RobertLee thought it was the clothing brand “American Eagle.” He was just hating on the idea of the shirt.

      ^^^ And so fucking what? When celebrating America people wear all different types of clothing that aren’t normally in their wardrobe, but it’s America dammit. If it’s in the spirit of America I say wear whatever the hell you want… Except for cargo shorts. Those can remain absent from your drawers.


      13 years ago at 12:40 pm
    3. MrRobertLee

      Sorry for being drunk. But even if it was a bald eagle with a gun. It still would be considered (at least in most respectable fraternities) a trashy graphic tee.

      13 years ago at 12:44 pm
    4. Proper Fratire

      I’m not going to deny that it would be. I just think there was a little too much hate in that post for a column about America.

      13 years ago at 12:47 pm
    5. Mward2002

      If the shirt looked well done then it would probably negate some of the trashiness of it. It just all depends on the presentation. Would you fuck with a man who had a bald eagle holding an AK in his talons? Probably.. But you certainly wouldn’t fuck with the bald eagle.

      13 years ago at 2:03 pm
    6. Roll frat roll

      Okay I’m no genius, but I think its like the bald eagle(America) has defeated the terrorists. The AK symbolizes the terrorists, and America is beating the shit out of them .

      13 years ago at 4:06 pm
  3. PhiHard

    That shotgun picture is FaF. Shotgunning to America under one of the most famous European monuments: TFTC

    13 years ago at 12:33 pm
    1. Sperry Topsiders1909

      Drinking Freedom in other countries to make sure you always have a little America in you. FaF

      13 years ago at 12:45 pm
    2. BornOnTheBroyou

      DarkoM, are you first generation? Fratty living doesn’t stop after undgrad, my friend.

      13 years ago at 1:28 pm
  4. Palmer Woodrow

    “Sure, I’ve been called a xenophobe, but the truth is, I’m not. I honestly just feel that America is the best country and the other countries aren’t as good. That used to be called patriotism.”

    13 years ago at 2:22 pm
  5. legacy_1

    If you really loved america you’d be drinking an american-made beer. Budweiser is now made in Ireland.

    13 years ago at 3:10 pm
    1. AlcoholEnthusiast

      Still made in Missouri and Ohio. Probably the only good things that will ever come out of those states. I believe you were trying to state that the company is now owned by Belgian company.

      13 years ago at 4:38 pm
    2. legacy_1

      they were sold to InBev in 2005, which is Belgian/Brazilian. But, budwiser is distributed by and brewed in Ireland via Guinness. They still keep the regional companies because they want to continue to seem american and what else are they going to do with those breweries? but they are owned and run by the Irish company. This is why I buy local brews. buying american TFM

      13 years ago at 7:31 pm
    3. old line state

      legacy_1, learn to wikipedia better. the article says “In Ireland, Budweiser is brewed, marketed, and sold by Guinness.”

      13 years ago at 11:35 pm
  6. sigmapiduck

    Faf, keep this series going. Worth noting the AK-47 is a commie gun but I’m not here to knit pick. Keep it up

    13 years ago at 4:12 pm